:: Safe & Sound ::

uncertain feeling indeed. am i feel like comforting others or being comforted by someone? dear you, i'll be by ur side. and we'll always be safe and sound...

Taylor Swift - Safe And Sound Lyrics (Ft. The Civil Wars)

[Taylor Swift]
I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...

Junior!

so yeah. here i am again. after all the ups and downs. i'm finally in a mood of writing again.too many things to talk about. i plan to do sumthing ' good' in my blog rather than just mumbling bout my own regularly-sad-personal-life. i hope i would be able to do that later and we'll see how it goes.

so, update for today. it's about Junior. Junior is a little orange color cat who'straying around this block. and no one wanted to take care of him so me n Fana, being a cat lover, gave him a little bit a lots of attention, including providing him with shelter, food and entertainment. entertainment sounds weird tho. hahahaha. i mean we befriend with him and yeah, spending some times to play with him and at times, be a sleeping mate too. ^^

it happened that Junior loves to 'poo-poo' in front of others' room. so people are easily get pissed off with him and they decided to sent him somewhere outside this college. i imagine how it's gonna be if Junior is sent to a wet market or a restaurant. will people there treat him kindly? after a thorough consideration over this matter ( which took me 3 days), i decided to do this for Junior. Tadaaa!

hope this little effort would give Junior a better life as he might be allowed to stay here forever. i'll take the responsibility and that's it. have a happy life yukkk Junior!

:: A Lost Heart ::

I asked myself, 

' do u really need 'someone' to go trough ur life now and then?'

 i'v been asking myself this question since years ago and lately i'v even asked myself more frequently. Finally, i guess i know the answer. i NEED my FAMILY, that is definite. i need my FRIENDS who i know for years specifically in RPS, MRSM Kuantan and Matriculation. and i, seriously need to go trough this life by my own, without worries and fears, with a confidence that i'll be able to do that and i NEED ALLAH to always be with me.

i know and i do think bout it. i'm a normal human being.i observe people around me and learn about life from them. i know there are things that people will aim to achieve and consider as an 'achievement' or be proud of being succeeded in pursuing it. example --> marriage. simple as that.

as i told, i'v been thinking bout that and having 'someone' is really a big question mark. No joke.  i'v no answer, no hunch to tell me a hint at least, no desire to, and i'm failed in anticipating my own life. so suddenly comes this saying, a person who fail to plan is actually plan to fail. sigh. I DONT WANNA CARE, that's what i feel now. 

i appreciate people around me.i appreciate whoever comes to be by my side, to be my friend, to spend their time with me, to make me happy and feel special..so much thanks! i'm seriously feeling so thankful to these people and always pray that ALLAH will ease  their way and help them to find whatever they seek in their life.i pray that i wont take them for granted and would be able to treat them in the best way that they deserve to get.

for all the questions that i had,

my heart told me,

" i would rather and more than happy to have friends, good friends, or best friends of different gender- instead of having them as a boyfriend. i'm happy to spend my time with them, have a good chat each time we meet or talk on phone, listen to probs (including his probs bout his girl) and lend a hand whenever needed. a good female friend will be better idea indeed, but at this age its hard to find one coz people are bz searching for their soul mate or catching up with old friends, and making new BFF somehow creates more probs as they suddenly will treat u like a rival a.k.a future enemy.  in fact, i already have a lotsss of besties now (girls) and i would love to keep them as that many , not to add more coz i dont wanna divide my attention into smaller pieces. i want to love them with all my heart and  to just let it stay that way. i have no worry if my heart will feel 'empty' coz the 'emptiness' is always there till i doubt if i can stand a new feeling which is to fall in love, expecting and hoping again but at the end the reality will kill me. so, i rather have best friends who will never betray me and i'l be happy to wish them a best of luck in their life. that way, i'll always be by their side and they wont lose me and i wont lose them too. it sounds crazy but no one knows, it is the best that i can do and offer, and i'm being fair to everyone coz to let the whole story revealed is not a good idea.it's a waste coz people wont be as that understanding unless they are also have been in the same shoes as u do. full stop."

... the small voice in my heart says , 

or maybe i dont have my heart anymore coz it has been taken away, far2 away and it has lost it senses....