Sabar. Sabar. Sabar.

so my salary issues hasn't been settled.a very long wait indeed.lots of important things can't be settled as well, hanging or might not be settled at all. but since it just not me alone facing this prob but another 3 part time lecturers as well, we just pray that we manage to stay patient and hope that everything will be easier n smoother next time. it just so sad to hear from a colleague that she's also penniless now and do not know how to survive coz she has to juggle with her job in Ipoh n Tluk Intan as well as with her PhD. while another said she felt sorry for us coz tho she hasn't got her pay, atliz she is married and has 'someone' to be relied on. i have learnt too many things throughout these 3 awful months.

1) even thought this is somehow too much to be bear with, i'm still grateful coz it somewhat makes me having more friends in the college as we, all the part-timers have started become close to each other and shared lots of things about teaching. ALHAMDULILLAH.

2) one of the friends told me she has one terrible class to manage where students r so rude and never care to respect her at all.while in my case, the three classes (150 students) that i'm taking care of are super duper awesome. they are nice students who listen to me, do and submit works on time, absent with proper MC and letter of apology for me, funny and friendly, and most interesting, when we had a crazy 8 hours class on Saturday where we had to take break for 3 times, they never tried to escape/go back to room but come back on time to continue the class with the same number of people . trust me, i never have raised my voice in front of them. ALHAMDULILLAH. :')

3) i might hate the fact that the company didn't pay me on time, but i can't hate this place as well coz i did find tranquility in my job. each time i came back from work, i felt content and happy coz my students were well-behaved. at times, when i recall the incidents that happened in the class, i could just laugh. we had good times in class.i never experienced any 'stress' that i used to feel in my practicum phase back then in JB. they made my days! ALHAMDULILLAH.

4) i think Allah has listened to my prayers. i prayed to HIM to please not to test me on something that's beyond my ability to endure. I prayed for HIM to ease us ( me and my students) in fulfilling our responsibilities and also in our journey of seeking and sharing the knowledge. and yes, ALHAMDULILLAH, i believed HE did that.

5) For whatever happens now (not being paid on time and uncertain news about posting), myb it's just a sign that Allah wants to test my patience coz the more He testing me, the more i become close to him. i can feel the love despite all the hardships and pains. so, SABAR. SABAR. SABAR. i have too much reasons to be grateful, thankful and smiled with, so i just hope this is how i can survive until i could see the rainbow again. Mira Mir Shaza Shazana the friends and sisters who always r listen and gimme strength, may Allah be close to ur side as well. I ♥ U! :)

# self-motivation #Teacher'sDiary #superbroke

:: Finally ::

i think she has made a wise decision. that is the best for her. i wont blame her nor say she is selfish. she isn't. i understand her. even me myself hoping to escape from the reality that has been burdening me for all this while, so why shud she bear it? i guess God only wants to help her.

don't feel guilty sis. u are no wrong. ALLAH surely will protect u and grand u with happiness soon.

:: Usah Lokek dengan "MAAF" ::

Hari pertama Ramadhan. di Auckland. lagi. sekali.

tapi, ini yang ... TERAKHIR. *sigh*

ak tanya pada hati, rindu ke pada Ramadhan di Malaysia? "Ntah." jawab hati kecil ku.

ak berkerut sendiri. Ramadhan di Malaysia itu indah. ada perbagai warna bile petang menjelma. memang itu yg dinantikan bukan? berborong sakan di bazar ramadhan. sume yg ada sume nk sebat. macam perut muat nk sumbat sume tu. tapi itu la keindahan Ramadhan yg kadang kala tercemar dek rase tamak dan suke membazir manusia. tapi klau benar habes dimakan semua , bgus la.

ak juga bakal rindukan Ramadhan disini nanti. bukan mudah, untuk ada peluang tercampak jauh dari keluarga n kemudian perlu menunaikn kewajipan agama setaatnye. tpi ini juga satu keindahan. dalam jutaan manusia yg langsung tidak menyedari pun Ramadhan itu sudah tiba n wujud, ak berkesempatan lagi merasakannya di sini. biarla org lain xfaham pun mknenye ape. :)

bercerita tentang Ramadhan, pasti la ade perkara lain yg nak dikait2 kan. pasal bersahur, terawih, raya, baju raya,kuih raya, kurang kan dosa... kurangkan dosa?? macam2 caranya. kecilkan skop, sume org rase bulan ni la bulan pling ssuai nk bermaafan dengan sape2 umat manusia yg diorg de buat silap. bagusla, wlopon maaf tu secara logiknya boleh dilakukan bile2 mase, tpi kite ni beruntung . sangat2 beruntung. ALLAH anugerahkn kite suatu masa yg pnjang tuk muhasabah diri kita, dan bukakn hati tuk memberi n menerima kemaafan. jika peluang ini sudah digunakan sebaiknye, alhamdulillah.

tapi beringatlah. maaf bukan harus dilakukan pada hari ni, bulan ini saja. bukan pada bulan yg bernama Ramadhan atau Syawal semata2. lakukan la pada bile2 masa. supaya hati akan selalu lepas dari beban benci, dendam dan berprasangkan pada yg lain. hati itu satu, anugerah pling berharga dari ALLAH. klo baik dia, maka baik la kita. kalao dibiar berkerak dgn rase benci dan dendam yg hina? kenapa mendera hati sendri. jika kemaafan yg sudah dihulur itu tidak bersambut, biarkan. janji sudah lepas rse terbeban. jika ada yg lain pula memohon kemaafan, berikanla. supaya hati kecik kita yg diikhlaskn itu mmpu  menyembuh rase perit beban pada hati kecil yg lain. maaf itu mudah. senyum ketika mmberi & menerima. usah disemai dendam, nti memakan diri.

hari ini kami membina bait2 hubungan dan persahabatan dari luka lama yg kering darahnye. kerana kami tidak mahu menggaru lgi luka dengan dendam yg tajam berduri. kami masih mmpu ketawa dan gembira besama. kami tahu, itu ikhlas. tpi kami manusia biasa yg sentiasa melakukan kekhilafan. tapi, kemaafan sering mnjadikan kami tahu menilai kesilapan diri n mnghargai. dan kami mmpu memberitahu satu sama lain sekarang, usah lokek dengan kemaafan kerana ia adalah satu anugerah percuma yg amat besar dan bermakna nilainye dan terbaik dpat kite kongsikan dengan sume. biar la kite papa kedana, biar la kite buruk pada rupa, biarla kite seperti xpunya apa2.. tapi kite ada hati yg dermawan dan x lokek dengan kemaafan...