:: Sweethearts::

I'll be home soon!!

i miss you! i miss you! i miss you! 

can't wait!! 

:)

this was what had happened in my 5T3 class and this was only one of the examples that i have in 'my collection'. it happens on the daily basis, can u imagine? 


Teaching reflection- year5 english class.
Topic : Where do you live?
Theme: world of self, family n friends.
Issue: the most tiring n challenging lesson.

Me: okay boys, now i want u to draw you own family tree. (distributing handouts with a blank family tree diagram to the students). Alrite, u may start now.

*suddnly all the boys were looking for a place to hide.some sat at the corner of the cla

ssroom.some hid under the table*

Me : okay!okay! What's happening now? Why arent u sit properly?shaddiq! afif! isqandar! yasir!!
S1: teacherrr!! Alaaaa.kite tak nak la wat bnde ni teacher (covering his family tree diagram).
Me: why?
S1: alaaaa.nti diorg nmpak.nti diorg kutuk nama bapak n mak saya.
S2: aah teacher.nti diorg ktuk nama atuk sy.
Me: *dalam hati* lol!!! No.wonder sume mcm cacing kpanasan.cmne laaaa ak boleh lupe diorg neh suke brgaduh sbb main ejek nama bapak.hehe.tringat zaman skolah dlu.haish.
Me: ok2! Its alrite.you just draw it quickly n submit it to me ok.whoever tries to mock or tease their friends, i'll punish u.
S2: teacher2! Jgn tnjuk kat diorg taw kertas sy.
Me:ok2.i wont.dnt worry k.
S3: Misssss!! Missss! (shouting from the back)
Me: yes?
S3: xingat laaaa name atuk nenek kite sume.
S4: sy pon xigt.
Me: pulak.hmm.ok.u just put X if u really dnt knw their names.
Me:hhmm.eh, y aren't u doing ur work?
S5: teacher, sy xtw la teacher nak tulis ape.sume sy xknal.
Me: *dalam hati* (oh my! How cn i forget that he's from Rumah Barkat *orphanage*) Hmm.its ok, tulis nama pnjaga kt rumah brkat tu je.yg kt bwh ni tulis nama awak sorang je ok.
S5 :okay! (looked so happy) -weird.
S6: teacherrrrr! Camne nk tulis ni? Kalau sy ada dua mak?
Me: err.just write ur own mum's n siblings' names.yg lagi satu tu, no need.
S6:ok.
S7: teacher! Sy pon ada 2 mak dgn 2 ayah teacher.sy da tulis sume.hihihi. (happily showed his diagram)
Me: eh! U should only write the names of the people who u are living with now, my dear.
S7: alaaaa.xpela teacher.sy malas nk pdam.
Me:hmmm.
S8: teacher!
Me: iyeee.. ( xlarat nk layan)
S8: ada org menangis kt blakang.diorg ejek nama mak dia.
Me: haih!
S9: teacher.teacher nmpak gemok la *tibe2*
Me: -_____-'
S10: teacher sy xigt nama mak saya.
Me:oh my! Jgn mngadelah.that cant b true.
S10:ala teacher..nama mak sy xde 'ungku' macam nama mak diaaaa...
Me: aihhh.ok dahhh! Submit ur work now. (macam2lahhh!!pening!)
Students: teacher! Sorok2 teacher jgn bgi sape2 tgk.
Me: i know.i know. *sigh*.okay, i'v to go now.
Students: teacherrrrr! Ingt taw! Jnji jgn tnjuk kat org lain!
Me: yeahhh.okay! Promise! Thank u class!
Students: thank you miss nazzzzz!

*** penatnye la haiiii jdi cikgu! =____='

** UNFORGETTABLE! **

| need not |

it has been months! n i could not believe it that the 'months' that i should pass patiently is reaching its end. i was super duper bz with practicum that i had no time for myself. not even hv any time to make a quick visit to my own blog. i didnt remmber what was the last thing that iv written here.i hv devoted all my times for these few months to practicum and to my life as a new inexperienced English teacher in STAR 1. u see, i did not even have time to tell that im actually doing my practicum at STAR 1, a boys' school. terrific but awesome moments too.

so, my life has changed bit by bit.  I have lived and still living a new way of life where i take risk *lots of risks* in everything that im doing. i challenged myself by making a big decision to move on. like really2 move on n live with it. live my life with the feeling hidden inside but smile and act like nothing happens coz thats how it shud be in the future. Untill i get used to it n really have actually let go- then i know that im absolutely fine. ehem. *cough* i am fine now-seriously. but at times, i do remmber. n when we talk, n decide, n retell the stories, reminiscing the moments, i still cry.why? coz all those are too sweet to be forgotten. i cant forgive myself for being too weak n fragile,but i believe, time will heal us. and someone in the future will give us strength to accept that our life meant for something else. yes, a someone-  his  n mine.

those time ( few weeks or months ago), i did try to open my heart n let someone else to enter. but i just realised, i need not a special someone. never. i just need a good friend to be around coz i dont want to have any commitment. i dont wanna get involved with any heart n feeling stuff anymore (at this moment) but it just too hard to be avoided. even if i am ok, like seriously feeling-less n ok, the other party isn't. and it is - uncontrollable. so i end up breaking up so many hearts n i cry. coz i hate it when i hurt people who is being nice to me, and when i couldnt repay all the 'kindness' that they hv done. i bet i'll get a punishment. life has karma, so i'll be hurt too. that thought really freaks me out but i wish, instead of being punished, i'll find a right one who will love me endlessly regardless all my weaknesses. 

... and so, to conclude , im really happy with my life now. and i'm fine to live it just like this. but i hope n pray that i wont hurt anyone else more after this. i have had it enough. and to u, whoever has been there to spare me some great times but ended up being hurt badly, im really2 sorry. i wished to be a good friend, i wished to make everyone happy, but im just a normal human being, i cant satisfy everyone. im just a small girl with nothing but a heart - a heart that is still learning n struggling to 'breath' the way it used to be, to recover from a damage and to take its own time to be able to consider it never knows. I leave it to ALLAH to decide fo the best while i'll keep praying....

a moment that leads to a new beginning of life. may ALLAH ease.