this is the stage where i find myself is totally useless. i have come back here since a week ago. but im just staying at home, being an idler, jobless,broke and lonely. i am USELESS.
i dont know what else i can do. shud i walk from door to door and begging for a job. begging to be paid? i feel like bearing a big burden now. i feel restless n worried. i have no money, i havent cleared my credit cards and i dont know how cn i pay March rent. oh God. at this moment, im really at stake.
~0RanGeVaNilla~
Saturday, 22 January 2011
Monday, 17 January 2011
Sunday, 16 January 2011
So not like home.
why i'm always be a person who lack of everything and has bad luck all da times?
i'm scared enough to do anything now coz every step i took, it was a wrong one.
why??
think this is not a good kickoff for me. i shudnt be here. i shud stay far and alone. all the sweet talks are fake. no, they might be true but it is not so right for a person like me. God, lead me please,,,lead me to the rite path.
this feeling is so not rite. im so not like im home. no. :(
~0RanGeVaNilla~
i'm scared enough to do anything now coz every step i took, it was a wrong one.
why??
think this is not a good kickoff for me. i shudnt be here. i shud stay far and alone. all the sweet talks are fake. no, they might be true but it is not so right for a person like me. God, lead me please,,,lead me to the rite path.
this feeling is so not rite. im so not like im home. no. :(
~0RanGeVaNilla~
Saturday, 15 January 2011
So??
im back to the place where i was belong b4. the very first day is always feel different. it is indeed different coz im no longer stay at the same place i'v been b4. my little tiny room that i'v left n miss so much now, has been replaced to a bigger one that is able to fit in 2 persons. me and shu.
i'm alone now. literally and metaphorically. shu hasnt come back yet. still in malaysia and i guess,she is having good times there. im here alone in this room. using em's lappy as my one couldnt be able to connect to the wireless.
whenever i walk around this house, i'l see Bill and Shafiq. im not totally alone ait? even when they left me 4times today, i had Coca with me. but i wonder, why do i feel alone? Metaphorically. it is.
im turning 23 in a month's time. does it freak me out to think bout the increasing of number? no it is not. but the 'cakap2 orang' does make me feel uneasy. im questioning myself. do i have a bad life now? do i choose a wrong way? do i act like an idiot who knows no direction at all?
i do what my heart feels like doing. i know.. i cant act just to fulfil what i feel like to have. but i have to act based on what my normal healthy brain tells me to do. so what now?
~0RanGeVaNilla~
i'm alone now. literally and metaphorically. shu hasnt come back yet. still in malaysia and i guess,she is having good times there. im here alone in this room. using em's lappy as my one couldnt be able to connect to the wireless.
whenever i walk around this house, i'l see Bill and Shafiq. im not totally alone ait? even when they left me 4times today, i had Coca with me. but i wonder, why do i feel alone? Metaphorically. it is.
im turning 23 in a month's time. does it freak me out to think bout the increasing of number? no it is not. but the 'cakap2 orang' does make me feel uneasy. im questioning myself. do i have a bad life now? do i choose a wrong way? do i act like an idiot who knows no direction at all?
i do what my heart feels like doing. i know.. i cant act just to fulfil what i feel like to have. but i have to act based on what my normal healthy brain tells me to do. so what now?
~0RanGeVaNilla~
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