:: GLAD ::

Alhamdulillah. thanks Allah. I'm Glad!

i'm glad coz today, M has finally sent us a good news. a very good news indeed. she's recovered. she sounded happy. she's back to herself that we used to know before. she is our M, a happy go lucky girl with a strong heart.

I feel happy for her and I thanks Allah for that. Allah listened to my prayers. Allah brings M back to us, tho we can't be together again this year but at least I know she'll be more that ok to go through her final year of degree next year. I hope she will stay strong as she always b.

this good news, has brushed away all the bruises and wounds that i have inside my heart after i was being accused by someone for making M suffers and leaving the college. since that day, i prayed hard to Allah to forgive my sins and to give M strength to live her life as normal as she can, as happy as it should be. I 'told' Allah how i never have any intentions to put down M nor to leave her alone and be someone selfish. Allah knows what really happened that day and why it happened that way. Allah knows best and this is Allah's answer to me. thank you O' Allah. 

'mum' was rite. i should have ignored that person and whatever she has said coz she isn't rite. she never knew the real situation and she just simply accused me with all those bad words coz she's looking for someone to put the blame on or maybe becoz she never liked me. i dont mind. she's not worth to be my friend if she only has bad thoughts about me while i never did such things to her let alone to spread bad words about her to people around. life can be so mean at times. :(

well, there's go a saying, there will be rainbow after rain..and now after all the storms and thunders, i see the rainbow again and M's smile is just like a sunshine that lighten up my days. thanks you ALLAH, 'mum' and M. Hugs! ;)

what's ur problem??

Others are really have nothing to do with my life. I accept wholeheartedly if they want to be around with sincere heart coz i also hope i can be sincere too. i appreciate people who come into my life and for all the good things i learn from them, i'll be thankful. Otherwise, i wont care much if I need to be all by myself coz its easier. i dont have to depends on others and i can be independent. most important thing is, i wont need to involve too many hearts in my daily life decisions and i wont interfere in others' affair which i supposed not to be involved in. that's it.

I have looked tru my life, all the ups and downs, all the mistakes that i hv unintentionally done, and think and hope that ALLAH only wanna show me that life teaches us to grow mature and be a better person. who wants to be selfish, no one wants. people are all imperfect so am i. coz im a typical n normal human being who falls and stands up again to wipe the bruises and learns  sumthing from that. no one wants to be born as a bad human being so if i ever did sumthing wrong to anyone, why do u only look at the negative side of it? i can accept advices but lets us see first who is talking there. if u r talking but not looking at mirror first, then how it would help? 

i'm learning. and i'm fine with myself now. i just dont want to be disturbed. i dont wanna involve in anyone's life coz im not interested in it, im not interested in listening to others' affair n need to be at one side only just to please them, and im not interested to be a liar coz i need to pretend like a good someone in front of others but talking bad about them behind their back. why are u feeling so unease if im happy living my life alone? why do u want me to be rounded by many people and get probs coz of that?what's ur prob??  

:: take me back ::

whoever you are, 

if you can take me back to Auckland,

 to live my life, 

as modest as I used to live before, 

I will marry you.

updating my mini dictionary. new word and idiom for today :

rekindle : 
1) Kindle anew, as of a fire
2) Arouse again  - "rekindle her love"

:: MiDNIGHT DiLEMMA::

thanks and 'thanksss' a lot to my brother for :

1) being such an awesome, and thoughtful, and kindhearted brother for treating me with chicken burger tho i didnt ask for it coz he worried that i might feel hungry at nite. yes, u r sooo nice!

2) *sigh*... being such a typical guy who doesn't understand that eating at MIDNIGHT (1215am) will ruin this awesome/cute girl's diet program especially when the subject that we r talking bout here is CHICKEN BURGER which is totally tempting and irresistible.

aaaaaaa. why do u put me in a dilemma? yes or no? eating or not eating?? sobbb~~~

:: Stalker ::

i just wonder if i have a regular stalker here, of maybe a FAN? i can sense a presence of  the same person on my blog everyday.

well, this is only my personal blog. nothing to be publicized about. i am aware that i have put the availability opens to everyone, and any people can just stop and stare in here,drop a comment  if they like to, i dont care. but, if u stop by everyday just to stalk on me, u waste ur time. really.

i dont care people reading, but please dont make a random judgement if u never know the real me in person. if u never talk to me face to face or atliz live with me for a certain period of time, u better think this is a blog of stranger that u'l never know. or  dont ever think, thru ur reading in here, u'll know me better or exactly who i am. these are too little to make u know me.

i just write whatever i feel like writing and it is my personal view and reflection of my life. u know, its a therapy to balance my emotion and its not to entertain anyone.

if i wrote sumthing educational and informative, im glad u read it for pleasure as well as to expand ur knowledge. im glad if im able to help and if it does benefit u. so keep on reading and do drop ur comments so i cant improve or share more. 

im welcoming everyone to drop in here, it just, i am a bit un-pleased to have a feeling that someone particular is watching over me n.if its YOU, please, go away.

:: coz i remember ::

i remembered what u said to her. and i'm not that pitiful. those insincere faces. huh. sorry. i know u too well and i dont even want to see ur face. no point to pretend like u r too kind. urghhh. go to hell!