Alahai Anak-Anak

I've been wondering what has actually happened lately :

1) Every morning, mesti ada surat cinta ( MC) from pupil's parents or clinic for those who absent the day before. Or at least, mak ayah diorg call or mesej awal2 bgtaw xhadir hri ni ( dalam hati : amboi. bagus betul anak2 ni, ingat tanggungjawab nk prove MC, padahal ckgu pun xigt dia MC. dulu ckgu absent pon jrg de MC. hihi)

2) Nak keluar kelas after finished teaching, mesti ada 5 6 org dtg " teacher, nak tolongggg!'. kekadang tu, dengan muka xde perasaan, bagi la diorg segala buku,pencil case, marker, ABM teacher utk dibawa ke kelas lain or bilik guru. teacher jalan dulu bawak handbag je, toleh belakang tengok sume tengah berebut. siap gaduh. nk pegang atliz sorang 1 barang pon jadila. marker sebatang pon jadi laaa. " Ey. excuse me, not more than 2 people, please." kena sound. yg mane lambat x dpt rebut tu kena duduk balik dan merajuk. what? ( dalam hati : amboii baiknye berbudi bahasa anak2 ni. tpi pastu, ceh,ni kje nak mengelat la ni, pndai ye.)

3) Paling lucu and I can really read them easily. Pagi2 lagi or 10 minit sebelum kelas mula or sampai xrehat pon xpe, dah tunggu kat meja teacher. teacher yg tengah berborak kt meja ckgu lain ni lantakkan aje kat diorg, still diorg tnggu jgk. "yes?" bagi chance la.

Kalau yang muke keruh je tu  " er. Miss Naz, sebenarnye saya nak bagitaw yang keje miss naz bagi semalam tu, saya terlupe buat,sy tak datang, buku hilang, homework tetiba hilang, tertinggal kt kampung, tak taw di mane,saya tak tau pun ade homework...bla3.. my cat eats my homework..." and response teacher, pandang muke dia lama2 and say " Sorry, I don't understand Malay. I'll see you in class right, after this?". They know it ain't a good answer to hear. Mata berair.

kalau yg muke excited xpasal, "teacher2, saya dah siap dah homework semalam!"
" well that's good, i'll see u in class alrite?" eemm. tapi kan teacher, A tak siap lagi. tdi dia tiru B. pastu C and D pon x siap diorg tgh duduk kat kantin cepat2 siapkn keje miss naz takut kena marah' response teacher " U have finished ur own work, that's more important right? and now, I supposed you should be in your class?'  ( dalam hati :amboi, rajennye anak ni. tapi  ada je pulak nak dengki kat kwn kan. gaduh tak nak kawan la tu nak report2)

4) masuk je kelas, after greeting. Sume da letak homework ats meja. Tak payah cakap panjang lebar, just " have you finished your works and are you ready to submit your books?  there you can hear some 'YESSSS' and also u can see.. 2  3 4 org mula berdiri, tunduk pandang meja sampai almost tembus, and lepas tu terimalah nasib masing2.. but alhamdulillah da makin jarang ade yg berdiri.

5) balik dari kelas muzik, PJ, B.Arab or Sains.. lari2 kocoh2  masuk kelas and tengok teacher dah ada dlm kelas ( padahal teacher baru je smpai jgk, and tak kisah pon kt korang,siap tgh dok fkir bnde lain), tetiba bebudak ni senyap sepi and beratur panjang cam ulat bulu. muke masing2 serba salah and one by one ' im sorry miss naz, because im late" ( with broken english sbenarnye). siap bisik marah2 kt kawan yg tak beratur sekali. teacher confused tpi buat2 cool. response teacher ' it's ok, ok,ok, go back to ur seat" ( dalam  hati : alahai, comelnye la anak2 ni.hihihi, korang wat salah ape je? hahahaha)

Teacher : Class, do u think i'm too fierce? are you scared of me?
Class : emm. no. you are kind. but we dont wanna make you angry if we dont finish our homework.  errr.
Teacher : are you sure? Let's be honest. Come onnnnn!
Class : errr... tapi memang miss nazz da makin garang pun. heheheh *laughing happily sebab dapat menjawab tanpa dimarah*
Teacher : U know why I do so right? Its for your own..
class : our own good!
teacher: thumbs up!

( dalam hati : padan la korang makin semacam je baiknye and teacher pulak macam nampak makin cepat tua je. sobs)


TEHEE!

:: A Change ::

Okie, done!

Alhamdulillah. berjaya mengimport blog lama ke blog yg. baru ni. tak lama pun. sekejap je prosesnye. hihi. ada beberapa posts yang aku tak publish pon kat blog ni. takpelah. mungkin tidak perlu.

owh. by the way, azam untuk berubah dan lebih memperkasakan bahasa ibunda terkedok ditengah jalan. sebab nak tulis tajuk ape dalam Bahasa Melayu pon kne fikir sepuloh minit. hahaha. So, xpelah. len kali je la memperkasakan bahasa ibunda tu. hiks.

Hri ni seharian mengambil alih tugas mak menjadi surirumah separa masa. sebab lagi separa terbongkang kepenatan selepas aktiviti ini.

BEFORE

Tingggg!!

AFTER

Nasib baik response body language penilai rasa positif. dengan ini aku pasti jika ditakdirkan bersuami sikit masa lagi, suami ku tidak akan mati kebuluran. hahaha.

sekian saja. sekadar merasmi blog baru.

teehee!

Sabar. Sabar. Sabar.

so my salary issues hasn't been settled.a very long wait indeed.lots of important things can't be settled as well, hanging or might not be settled at all. but since it just not me alone facing this prob but another 3 part time lecturers as well, we just pray that we manage to stay patient and hope that everything will be easier n smoother next time. it just so sad to hear from a colleague that she's also penniless now and do not know how to survive coz she has to juggle with her job in Ipoh n Tluk Intan as well as with her PhD. while another said she felt sorry for us coz tho she hasn't got her pay, atliz she is married and has 'someone' to be relied on. i have learnt too many things throughout these 3 awful months.

1) even thought this is somehow too much to be bear with, i'm still grateful coz it somewhat makes me having more friends in the college as we, all the part-timers have started become close to each other and shared lots of things about teaching. ALHAMDULILLAH.

2) one of the friends told me she has one terrible class to manage where students r so rude and never care to respect her at all.while in my case, the three classes (150 students) that i'm taking care of are super duper awesome. they are nice students who listen to me, do and submit works on time, absent with proper MC and letter of apology for me, funny and friendly, and most interesting, when we had a crazy 8 hours class on Saturday where we had to take break for 3 times, they never tried to escape/go back to room but come back on time to continue the class with the same number of people . trust me, i never have raised my voice in front of them. ALHAMDULILLAH. :')

3) i might hate the fact that the company didn't pay me on time, but i can't hate this place as well coz i did find tranquility in my job. each time i came back from work, i felt content and happy coz my students were well-behaved. at times, when i recall the incidents that happened in the class, i could just laugh. we had good times in class.i never experienced any 'stress' that i used to feel in my practicum phase back then in JB. they made my days! ALHAMDULILLAH.

4) i think Allah has listened to my prayers. i prayed to HIM to please not to test me on something that's beyond my ability to endure. I prayed for HIM to ease us ( me and my students) in fulfilling our responsibilities and also in our journey of seeking and sharing the knowledge. and yes, ALHAMDULILLAH, i believed HE did that.

5) For whatever happens now (not being paid on time and uncertain news about posting), myb it's just a sign that Allah wants to test my patience coz the more He testing me, the more i become close to him. i can feel the love despite all the hardships and pains. so, SABAR. SABAR. SABAR. i have too much reasons to be grateful, thankful and smiled with, so i just hope this is how i can survive until i could see the rainbow again. Mira Mir Shaza Shazana the friends and sisters who always r listen and gimme strength, may Allah be close to ur side as well. I ♥ U! :)

# self-motivation #Teacher'sDiary #superbroke

:: KIND ::

i'm glad to say that i'm back to blogging. i just hope i'll be more consistent this time around as I use less English in my daily conversation. so yeah, i need to write. I had too much works to do recently. poor time management and lousy internet connection.*SIGH*

i'm glad as well, to say that life is being so kind to me now. tho  sometimes lotsa of problems arose, i managed to think more positively and took everything easy.Perhaps, i'm getting wiser n maturer now.  Ha Hah! :p

And.... alhamdulillah, i'm now working as a part-time lecturer in a medical school of one private colleges in Ipoh. I love my job!

 why do I love my job?

• i love the working environment. 

• i'm dealing with different age group of students who are easier to be taught and controlled. well, they are not the 'little kiddos' who i used to face everyday, but they are the 'sisters n brothers' who can easily understand my orders,  more responsible in doing their works and most important, keen is seeking  knowledge.

• I feel grateful because Allah has given me this opportunity to spread my wings in teaching career. 

When i heard that we'll not be sent to school immediately after graduated from college, i knew that  it was the right time for me to 'enjoy' my jobless life. i don't want to wait in despair so i really looked for a job. Not a common part-time jobs but a job that can help me lift up my confidence and self-potential. it sounded so ridiculous at first, coz i have put a high expectation in applying this part-time job. i didn't go for any working position in shopping complex or others, but i was really searching for a position like an English teacher/lecturer. i don't even have my degree cert or at least the official exam transcripts (until now), but i kept on sending resumes to lots of tuition centers, private schools and even colleges with a hope that i'll be hired. I was seriously relying on resume, cover letter and the interview session to convince the employer that i'm worth to be hired. ah, i'm just so thankful to my life in NZ which has taught me a lot in believing in myself and also the people that never stop helping and encouraging me - ANNE and SHERYLL. i'm even more thankful to ALLAH to grant me with this blissful days of life.

sometimes when i think back to myself, i just know that ALLAH did listen to my prayers. it's just a matter of time. whether it will be answered immediately or a bit later.

 i just hope that ALLAH will keep my ways easy and i wish that all the great people that i love and have now will stay close to me until the end of my breath. thank you ALLAH! :)

:: Sweethearts::

I'll be home soon!!

i miss you! i miss you! i miss you! 

can't wait!! 

:)

this was what had happened in my 5T3 class and this was only one of the examples that i have in 'my collection'. it happens on the daily basis, can u imagine? 


Teaching reflection- year5 english class.
Topic : Where do you live?
Theme: world of self, family n friends.
Issue: the most tiring n challenging lesson.

Me: okay boys, now i want u to draw you own family tree. (distributing handouts with a blank family tree diagram to the students). Alrite, u may start now.

*suddnly all the boys were looking for a place to hide.some sat at the corner of the cla

ssroom.some hid under the table*

Me : okay!okay! What's happening now? Why arent u sit properly?shaddiq! afif! isqandar! yasir!!
S1: teacherrr!! Alaaaa.kite tak nak la wat bnde ni teacher (covering his family tree diagram).
Me: why?
S1: alaaaa.nti diorg nmpak.nti diorg kutuk nama bapak n mak saya.
S2: aah teacher.nti diorg ktuk nama atuk sy.
Me: *dalam hati* lol!!! No.wonder sume mcm cacing kpanasan.cmne laaaa ak boleh lupe diorg neh suke brgaduh sbb main ejek nama bapak.hehe.tringat zaman skolah dlu.haish.
Me: ok2! Its alrite.you just draw it quickly n submit it to me ok.whoever tries to mock or tease their friends, i'll punish u.
S2: teacher2! Jgn tnjuk kat diorg taw kertas sy.
Me:ok2.i wont.dnt worry k.
S3: Misssss!! Missss! (shouting from the back)
Me: yes?
S3: xingat laaaa name atuk nenek kite sume.
S4: sy pon xigt.
Me: pulak.hmm.ok.u just put X if u really dnt knw their names.
Me:hhmm.eh, y aren't u doing ur work?
S5: teacher, sy xtw la teacher nak tulis ape.sume sy xknal.
Me: *dalam hati* (oh my! How cn i forget that he's from Rumah Barkat *orphanage*) Hmm.its ok, tulis nama pnjaga kt rumah brkat tu je.yg kt bwh ni tulis nama awak sorang je ok.
S5 :okay! (looked so happy) -weird.
S6: teacherrrrr! Camne nk tulis ni? Kalau sy ada dua mak?
Me: err.just write ur own mum's n siblings' names.yg lagi satu tu, no need.
S6:ok.
S7: teacher! Sy pon ada 2 mak dgn 2 ayah teacher.sy da tulis sume.hihihi. (happily showed his diagram)
Me: eh! U should only write the names of the people who u are living with now, my dear.
S7: alaaaa.xpela teacher.sy malas nk pdam.
Me:hmmm.
S8: teacher!
Me: iyeee.. ( xlarat nk layan)
S8: ada org menangis kt blakang.diorg ejek nama mak dia.
Me: haih!
S9: teacher.teacher nmpak gemok la *tibe2*
Me: -_____-'
S10: teacher sy xigt nama mak saya.
Me:oh my! Jgn mngadelah.that cant b true.
S10:ala teacher..nama mak sy xde 'ungku' macam nama mak diaaaa...
Me: aihhh.ok dahhh! Submit ur work now. (macam2lahhh!!pening!)
Students: teacher! Sorok2 teacher jgn bgi sape2 tgk.
Me: i know.i know. *sigh*.okay, i'v to go now.
Students: teacherrrrr! Ingt taw! Jnji jgn tnjuk kat org lain!
Me: yeahhh.okay! Promise! Thank u class!
Students: thank you miss nazzzzz!

*** penatnye la haiiii jdi cikgu! =____='

** UNFORGETTABLE! **

| need not |

it has been months! n i could not believe it that the 'months' that i should pass patiently is reaching its end. i was super duper bz with practicum that i had no time for myself. not even hv any time to make a quick visit to my own blog. i didnt remmber what was the last thing that iv written here.i hv devoted all my times for these few months to practicum and to my life as a new inexperienced English teacher in STAR 1. u see, i did not even have time to tell that im actually doing my practicum at STAR 1, a boys' school. terrific but awesome moments too.

so, my life has changed bit by bit.  I have lived and still living a new way of life where i take risk *lots of risks* in everything that im doing. i challenged myself by making a big decision to move on. like really2 move on n live with it. live my life with the feeling hidden inside but smile and act like nothing happens coz thats how it shud be in the future. Untill i get used to it n really have actually let go- then i know that im absolutely fine. ehem. *cough* i am fine now-seriously. but at times, i do remmber. n when we talk, n decide, n retell the stories, reminiscing the moments, i still cry.why? coz all those are too sweet to be forgotten. i cant forgive myself for being too weak n fragile,but i believe, time will heal us. and someone in the future will give us strength to accept that our life meant for something else. yes, a someone-  his  n mine.

those time ( few weeks or months ago), i did try to open my heart n let someone else to enter. but i just realised, i need not a special someone. never. i just need a good friend to be around coz i dont want to have any commitment. i dont wanna get involved with any heart n feeling stuff anymore (at this moment) but it just too hard to be avoided. even if i am ok, like seriously feeling-less n ok, the other party isn't. and it is - uncontrollable. so i end up breaking up so many hearts n i cry. coz i hate it when i hurt people who is being nice to me, and when i couldnt repay all the 'kindness' that they hv done. i bet i'll get a punishment. life has karma, so i'll be hurt too. that thought really freaks me out but i wish, instead of being punished, i'll find a right one who will love me endlessly regardless all my weaknesses. 

... and so, to conclude , im really happy with my life now. and i'm fine to live it just like this. but i hope n pray that i wont hurt anyone else more after this. i have had it enough. and to u, whoever has been there to spare me some great times but ended up being hurt badly, im really2 sorry. i wished to be a good friend, i wished to make everyone happy, but im just a normal human being, i cant satisfy everyone. im just a small girl with nothing but a heart - a heart that is still learning n struggling to 'breath' the way it used to be, to recover from a damage and to take its own time to be able to consider it never knows. I leave it to ALLAH to decide fo the best while i'll keep praying....

a moment that leads to a new beginning of life. may ALLAH ease.