:: Usah Lokek dengan "MAAF" ::

Hari pertama Ramadhan. di Auckland. lagi. sekali.

tapi, ini yang ... TERAKHIR. *sigh*

ak tanya pada hati, rindu ke pada Ramadhan di Malaysia? "Ntah." jawab hati kecil ku.

ak berkerut sendiri. Ramadhan di Malaysia itu indah. ada perbagai warna bile petang menjelma. memang itu yg dinantikan bukan? berborong sakan di bazar ramadhan. sume yg ada sume nk sebat. macam perut muat nk sumbat sume tu. tapi itu la keindahan Ramadhan yg kadang kala tercemar dek rase tamak dan suke membazir manusia. tapi klau benar habes dimakan semua , bgus la.

ak juga bakal rindukan Ramadhan disini nanti. bukan mudah, untuk ada peluang tercampak jauh dari keluarga n kemudian perlu menunaikn kewajipan agama setaatnye. tpi ini juga satu keindahan. dalam jutaan manusia yg langsung tidak menyedari pun Ramadhan itu sudah tiba n wujud, ak berkesempatan lagi merasakannya di sini. biarla org lain xfaham pun mknenye ape. :)

bercerita tentang Ramadhan, pasti la ade perkara lain yg nak dikait2 kan. pasal bersahur, terawih, raya, baju raya,kuih raya, kurang kan dosa... kurangkan dosa?? macam2 caranya. kecilkan skop, sume org rase bulan ni la bulan pling ssuai nk bermaafan dengan sape2 umat manusia yg diorg de buat silap. bagusla, wlopon maaf tu secara logiknya boleh dilakukan bile2 mase, tpi kite ni beruntung . sangat2 beruntung. ALLAH anugerahkn kite suatu masa yg pnjang tuk muhasabah diri kita, dan bukakn hati tuk memberi n menerima kemaafan. jika peluang ini sudah digunakan sebaiknye, alhamdulillah.

tapi beringatlah. maaf bukan harus dilakukan pada hari ni, bulan ini saja. bukan pada bulan yg bernama Ramadhan atau Syawal semata2. lakukan la pada bile2 masa. supaya hati akan selalu lepas dari beban benci, dendam dan berprasangkan pada yg lain. hati itu satu, anugerah pling berharga dari ALLAH. klo baik dia, maka baik la kita. kalao dibiar berkerak dgn rase benci dan dendam yg hina? kenapa mendera hati sendri. jika kemaafan yg sudah dihulur itu tidak bersambut, biarkan. janji sudah lepas rse terbeban. jika ada yg lain pula memohon kemaafan, berikanla. supaya hati kecik kita yg diikhlaskn itu mmpu  menyembuh rase perit beban pada hati kecil yg lain. maaf itu mudah. senyum ketika mmberi & menerima. usah disemai dendam, nti memakan diri.

hari ini kami membina bait2 hubungan dan persahabatan dari luka lama yg kering darahnye. kerana kami tidak mahu menggaru lgi luka dengan dendam yg tajam berduri. kami masih mmpu ketawa dan gembira besama. kami tahu, itu ikhlas. tpi kami manusia biasa yg sentiasa melakukan kekhilafan. tapi, kemaafan sering mnjadikan kami tahu menilai kesilapan diri n mnghargai. dan kami mmpu memberitahu satu sama lain sekarang, usah lokek dengan kemaafan kerana ia adalah satu anugerah percuma yg amat besar dan bermakna nilainye dan terbaik dpat kite kongsikan dengan sume. biar la kite papa kedana, biar la kite buruk pada rupa, biarla kite seperti xpunya apa2.. tapi kite ada hati yg dermawan dan x lokek dengan kemaafan...

:: I'm Busy!! I'm Happy! ::

I'm shifting today, in a sense of changing my way of writing. im aware, i didnt write much bout my academic things. so today im gonna do so, no more rambling over heart & feeling thingy nor holiday. * anyway, talking bout holiday is always cooolllllll  . hikkkssss. *

i got four months left. and that  means.. SAD! but i wanna cherish this critical moment with something that i wont forget for the rest of my life. so i took a step. a very little tiny one when i was freaking tensed to crack my head for science assignment in Brisbane. haha. i took a rest n there happened that i applied for mentoring program. the program's name is MATES. and i got my mentee last month. her name is Paris. She is twelve. nice, active, friendly , beautiful. i think she is good. this program is not an easy task to do i wud say. yes, i might need to check n help her out with the homework, but there is something more important i should be able to do. gain her trust, be her friend, get to know her interests n make her trust me as someone who can always be there for her...to get her emotional,social and cognitive development grow well. this mean a RELATIONSHIP. sooner, i need to meet her family and again, to built a trust n be in a good RELATIONSHIP with them. 

i think i have a good relationship with my mentee so far. i can feel that we actually had a good kickoff. we can talk to each other n i see her willing to be cooperative. i feel grateful. i learnt new thing without im realising it.RELATIONSHIP... it wont happen if there's no cooperative between two parties. it needs trust n toleration. it needs us to be understanding. it needs to have mutuality. when u take, u shud be willing to give too. and being the elder doesnt mean u have to be up all the time. u shud put u self a bit down n lower so u wud be able to listen to what others want to say. then u'll get to consider so many things wisely. and finally  learn sumthing. sumthing priceless.

i'l be bz with mentoring on thursday. but i wud b bz with my Skype session too. need to see Benji at 1pm maybe. i will get another 2 students for skype. i cant imagine how my Thursday will be soon. i'l be bz! BUSY! BZ! BEE-ZIIIII! but despite of all the busy-ness and tirednes, i know im happy. happy that my time is fully occupied with good things. and i wont get time to think so far away like out of the Earth planet and be upset because of it. i hope i'll be fine. and i hope i'll be a succesful n helpful to all my tutees n mentee. till then. take care. :)

PARIS & ME - Mansell Intermediate School, Papakura, NZ.

:: Kerna Ku Cinta Kau :) ::

\\

Mood jiwang on! Layan ~~

:: CInta Yang Tertinggal ::

sesuatu yang indah dan tak terucap dek kate2, hanya akan datang menyinggah sekejap je dalam hidup kite. teringat saat2 bercuti kat South Island awal bulan ni. 2 minggu lepas. masa Awa n Fit datang, terasa mcam excited la jugak ada kawan dri Malaysia yg sudi datang menjenguk. walaupun niat diorg nk berholiday, but still.. i got visitors! what more to say? we had good time. nak berharap sape lgi, kawan2 yg sudi je la. Mum, she isnt able to come tho she wants to be here so much.xpe la. ade sebab2 yg xdpt dielakkan.

Ya ALLAH, serious! sekarang rindu sangat dengan South Island. ada perasaan macam kehilangan sesuatu. bile bangun tido , buka mata n taw kite  bukan lagi kt tmpt tu, rase sebak n sayu. macam ada cinta yg tertinggal! kalau x pagi2 da pijak rumput berais, msuk kereta jerit2 betapa hati seronok tengok salji penuh atas jalan, kiri kanan gunung2 sume penuh degan snow. ya ALLAH... cantikkknyeeee!!!! Awal2 holiday spent sehari kat Christchurch, tgk kesan runtuhan dari earthquake yg menimpa bandar ni March 2011 yg lalu. sedih. sumenye musnah, n bandar tu macam kurang serinye. Lepastu 2 hari kat Dunedin + 1 hri lagi masa last day kat South Island before balik Aukland.

":: little memories in Dunedin ::"

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ye. DUNEDIN sangattt cantekkk. rumah2 atas gunung. tu la Dunedin. lepas Dunedin, ke Te Anau, Milford Sounds, Queenstown, Wanaka and balik semula ke Christchurch. Masuk Te Anau je da nampak bayang2 salji. perasaan masa tu hanya ALLAH je yg taw. Ashburton pulak smpai mse hari da malam, tpi otw tu la bru sempat main snow sikit sbb suh awa benti tepi2 jalan.sepanjang perjalanan xsudah2 memuji kebesaran ALLAH yg ciptakan bumi yg maha luas n indah ni. perasaan... sgt la xtw cmne nk describe. 

ok dah! jom kite flip thru hari2 indah yg da berlalu tu same. jom!

":: Ashburton/springfield/christchurch in memory ::"

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":: little snow in Queenstown/wanaka/milford sounds ::"

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cantik kan south island? (org2 dalam gmbr pun cntik jgk. hehehe) . rindu! terlalu rindu south island! hoping to get back these great times. mgkin satu masa nanti...

:: Truth to be Faced ::

my new sem has started yesterday, with first class which was only a tutorial session -EDUC313. close to EDUC380 that i'v taken last sem. tough paper, i would say. 

it's a second chance. n  i tell myself, whenever we are given second chance, we should do the best of it. grab it, give the best we can.i'll be working so hard this sem, really. it is the last sem we have here. n will be sending back to Malaysia. another year to face books and lecturers, going for practicum and finally work for the country.

ah, i'm still in Auckland now.but... less than 4 months, i will be missing this place. really2 miss it. i can imagine the feeling now. it is SAD.

it is true now, to think that we cannot get everything that we wish to have. some area achievable, some are not. im not an empty vessel. im not useless. im not taking everything for granted. for most of time, i did think. i grow a potential in myself, for who should i be in the future. yet, these so many plans are might or might no be achievable or not. that is a question that left hanging. 

i have big dreams. but i dont know why suddenly i feel they are too far to reach. not gonna think more now, i shud be focusing on what are more important. 

for now, im not ready to leave NZ. but it is the truth that i have to face. and another truth to be faced will come soon. *sigh*