:: Sweethearts::

I'll be home soon!!

i miss you! i miss you! i miss you! 

can't wait!! 

:)

this was what had happened in my 5T3 class and this was only one of the examples that i have in 'my collection'. it happens on the daily basis, can u imagine? 


Teaching reflection- year5 english class.
Topic : Where do you live?
Theme: world of self, family n friends.
Issue: the most tiring n challenging lesson.

Me: okay boys, now i want u to draw you own family tree. (distributing handouts with a blank family tree diagram to the students). Alrite, u may start now.

*suddnly all the boys were looking for a place to hide.some sat at the corner of the cla

ssroom.some hid under the table*

Me : okay!okay! What's happening now? Why arent u sit properly?shaddiq! afif! isqandar! yasir!!
S1: teacherrr!! Alaaaa.kite tak nak la wat bnde ni teacher (covering his family tree diagram).
Me: why?
S1: alaaaa.nti diorg nmpak.nti diorg kutuk nama bapak n mak saya.
S2: aah teacher.nti diorg ktuk nama atuk sy.
Me: *dalam hati* lol!!! No.wonder sume mcm cacing kpanasan.cmne laaaa ak boleh lupe diorg neh suke brgaduh sbb main ejek nama bapak.hehe.tringat zaman skolah dlu.haish.
Me: ok2! Its alrite.you just draw it quickly n submit it to me ok.whoever tries to mock or tease their friends, i'll punish u.
S2: teacher2! Jgn tnjuk kat diorg taw kertas sy.
Me:ok2.i wont.dnt worry k.
S3: Misssss!! Missss! (shouting from the back)
Me: yes?
S3: xingat laaaa name atuk nenek kite sume.
S4: sy pon xigt.
Me: pulak.hmm.ok.u just put X if u really dnt knw their names.
Me:hhmm.eh, y aren't u doing ur work?
S5: teacher, sy xtw la teacher nak tulis ape.sume sy xknal.
Me: *dalam hati* (oh my! How cn i forget that he's from Rumah Barkat *orphanage*) Hmm.its ok, tulis nama pnjaga kt rumah brkat tu je.yg kt bwh ni tulis nama awak sorang je ok.
S5 :okay! (looked so happy) -weird.
S6: teacherrrrr! Camne nk tulis ni? Kalau sy ada dua mak?
Me: err.just write ur own mum's n siblings' names.yg lagi satu tu, no need.
S6:ok.
S7: teacher! Sy pon ada 2 mak dgn 2 ayah teacher.sy da tulis sume.hihihi. (happily showed his diagram)
Me: eh! U should only write the names of the people who u are living with now, my dear.
S7: alaaaa.xpela teacher.sy malas nk pdam.
Me:hmmm.
S8: teacher!
Me: iyeee.. ( xlarat nk layan)
S8: ada org menangis kt blakang.diorg ejek nama mak dia.
Me: haih!
S9: teacher.teacher nmpak gemok la *tibe2*
Me: -_____-'
S10: teacher sy xigt nama mak saya.
Me:oh my! Jgn mngadelah.that cant b true.
S10:ala teacher..nama mak sy xde 'ungku' macam nama mak diaaaa...
Me: aihhh.ok dahhh! Submit ur work now. (macam2lahhh!!pening!)
Students: teacher! Sorok2 teacher jgn bgi sape2 tgk.
Me: i know.i know. *sigh*.okay, i'v to go now.
Students: teacherrrrr! Ingt taw! Jnji jgn tnjuk kat org lain!
Me: yeahhh.okay! Promise! Thank u class!
Students: thank you miss nazzzzz!

*** penatnye la haiiii jdi cikgu! =____='

** UNFORGETTABLE! **

| need not |

it has been months! n i could not believe it that the 'months' that i should pass patiently is reaching its end. i was super duper bz with practicum that i had no time for myself. not even hv any time to make a quick visit to my own blog. i didnt remmber what was the last thing that iv written here.i hv devoted all my times for these few months to practicum and to my life as a new inexperienced English teacher in STAR 1. u see, i did not even have time to tell that im actually doing my practicum at STAR 1, a boys' school. terrific but awesome moments too.

so, my life has changed bit by bit.  I have lived and still living a new way of life where i take risk *lots of risks* in everything that im doing. i challenged myself by making a big decision to move on. like really2 move on n live with it. live my life with the feeling hidden inside but smile and act like nothing happens coz thats how it shud be in the future. Untill i get used to it n really have actually let go- then i know that im absolutely fine. ehem. *cough* i am fine now-seriously. but at times, i do remmber. n when we talk, n decide, n retell the stories, reminiscing the moments, i still cry.why? coz all those are too sweet to be forgotten. i cant forgive myself for being too weak n fragile,but i believe, time will heal us. and someone in the future will give us strength to accept that our life meant for something else. yes, a someone-  his  n mine.

those time ( few weeks or months ago), i did try to open my heart n let someone else to enter. but i just realised, i need not a special someone. never. i just need a good friend to be around coz i dont want to have any commitment. i dont wanna get involved with any heart n feeling stuff anymore (at this moment) but it just too hard to be avoided. even if i am ok, like seriously feeling-less n ok, the other party isn't. and it is - uncontrollable. so i end up breaking up so many hearts n i cry. coz i hate it when i hurt people who is being nice to me, and when i couldnt repay all the 'kindness' that they hv done. i bet i'll get a punishment. life has karma, so i'll be hurt too. that thought really freaks me out but i wish, instead of being punished, i'll find a right one who will love me endlessly regardless all my weaknesses. 

... and so, to conclude , im really happy with my life now. and i'm fine to live it just like this. but i hope n pray that i wont hurt anyone else more after this. i have had it enough. and to u, whoever has been there to spare me some great times but ended up being hurt badly, im really2 sorry. i wished to be a good friend, i wished to make everyone happy, but im just a normal human being, i cant satisfy everyone. im just a small girl with nothing but a heart - a heart that is still learning n struggling to 'breath' the way it used to be, to recover from a damage and to take its own time to be able to consider it never knows. I leave it to ALLAH to decide fo the best while i'll keep praying....

a moment that leads to a new beginning of life. may ALLAH ease.

:: Mandi Sungai di Gopeng, Perak ::

Hello! Hai!

 kawan-kawan saya selalu bertanya, apa yang best kt PERAK??? oh, x taw nak jawab sbb jarang betul duk Perak. haha. so ini adakah percubaan pertama membuat koleksi kawasan percutian di Perak.

Ceritanya, semalam kami adik beradik, pergi mandi manda di kawasan perkelahan di Gopeng. sume berlaku out of sudden, sebab hari panas sangat n sume org da bosan, so around 230pm, my eldest sis ckap 'jom pergi mandi sungai nak?'. wahhh. macam org mengantuk disorongkan bantal, mstilah nakkkkk! so dalam masa 15minit, sume brang2 keperluan dah siap di pack dan kami terus menuju ke Kampung Gunung Mesah Hulu, Gopeng untuk bermandi-manda! perjalanan mengambil masa 30 minit dari rumah.pandangan peribadi saya, ini adalah antara tempat mandi manda yg paling best yg saya pernah pergi. 

Lokasi : Kampung Gunung Mesah Hulu, Gopeng, Perak. 

- 1.5km dari Plaza Tol Gopeng. maksudnya, keluar je dari Plaza Tol Gopeng tu, belok ke kiri, keep left jugak dan masuk ke simpang yg ada sign board bertulis kg. Gunung Mesah Hulu dan juga ini.

teruskan perjalanan seperti biasa, straight je masuk ke kawasan kampung2 sampai la anda jumpe sebuah jambatan besi ini, 

dan.. tadaaaa! sudah sampai! kalau mahu msuk lebih jauh kedalam untuk mencari lokasi perkelahan dan bermandi manda yg lebih sesuai silakan la. tpi yg dekat ini pon x kurang bestnye!

tips memilih lokasi tempat mandi manda :

1- pilihlah kawasan yg bersih dan kelihatan sedap mata memandang, serta ada kawasan berteduh ( seperti pokok)

2-  dan sesuai untuk meletakkan barang2 terutama untuk mmbentang tikar dan meletakkan makanan kerana picnic-by-the-river akan selalu mmberikan perasaan yg awesome jika kawasan yg dipilih adalah bersesuaian. :p

3- perhatikan air yg sungai yang mengalir di kawasan yg anda pilih, lihat adakah airnya bersih dan jernih serta kurang berbau. secara peribadi, saya kurang suka memilih kawasan yg ada ramai org kerana keseronokan bermain air akan berkurang kalau org lain juga sibuk2 nak dtang ke tmpat kite untuk mencuba pelbagai aksi renangan. erkkk.

4- pemandangan yg indah di kawasan persekitaran adalah bonus untuk mmberikan anda lebih keceriaan. hehehe.

5- di kawasan perkelahan ini, ada homestay yg boleh disewa untuk pengunjung2 yg datang dari jauh dan ia betul2 berhadapan dgn lokasi mandi manda pilihan kami. jika anda mahu meluangkan lebih masa dikawasan sungai, ini adalah kawasan yg tepat untuk anda.

6- juga terdapat warung makan yang dibuka pada waktu petang. terdapat beberapa buah kedai makan dikawasan yg kami pilih, dan ini adalah yg pling hmpir tpi malangnye tempoh hari ia tutup. tapi x mengapalah, kami dah ada makanan sendiri! masak dari rumah gitu!

7-  pilih la juga kawasan yg dekat dengan toilet kerana itu akan memudahkn urusan menukar pakaian selepas selesai bermandi manda. toilet awam di kg. Gunung  Mesah ni  amat terjaga dan kebersihannye memuaskan. :)

 tips tambahan :

a) Jangan lupe membawa keperluan berkelah dan mandi manda yg lain seperti makanan, sunblock dan plastik sampah supaya sisa makanan tidak dibuang merata dan pakaian basah dapat dibungkus dengan baik.

b) expect what is unexpected, anda mungkin akan didatangi 'tetamu' ketika berkelah. kenal pasti siapa tetamu itu dan apa mahunya. situasi sebegini adalah kurang 'expected' tapi agak comel apabila ianya berlaku. :)

c) nampak kan tetamu itu?? jadi, jika ada sisa-sisa makanan yg boleh disedekahkn kepada tetamu comel itu, hulur2 kan la.

  ia pasti akan berterima kasih kepada anda atas kebaikan itu. amin. :)

d) dan sebagai seorang ilmuan yg tidak mmbuang masa, jangan lupe untuk membawa bahan bacaan kegemaran anda , mungkin boleh disertakan dengan alat permainan MP3,MP4, smartphones. saya membawa ipod touch kesayangan dan novel Jodi Picoult yg belum sempat dibaca supaya smbil menanti baju kering dan rasa sejuk menghilang, boleh la bersandar2 pada batu besar smbil membaca novel dan mendengar lagu. sungguh relax!!!

jadi, sekiranya anda ke Ipoh dan mmpunyai masa untuk diluangkn, silalah singgah disini. jika malas menyediakan makanan dari rumah, cukuplah mmbawa towel dan pakaian kering lain untuk diguna selepas mandi. soal lain, disini ada penyelesainya! selamat bercuti buat semua!

:: Rekindle the Love ::

so, here it is! after two days, i finally got this new look on my blog. I'm a happy woman on Earth rite now. :D

i just love the color and for the first time, i really feel that the header that i made by my own is really beautiful .haha.  i planned to have a white theme for my blog, but unfortunately, my soul and colors are inseparable, so at the end of the day.. all are pinky, as u can see!

i been thinking for two days, and i have decided. i wanna rekindle my love towards everything that i love to do in my life - writing, traveling, shopping, decorating, etc.  i love writing coz if i dont, i wont  have my own blog, rite? i just didnt write much  lately coz i lost interest in many things in my life ( which i couldn't explain why). and now im thinking of writing again, talking about my life experiences, write bout things that make me happy so that i can appreciate my life more, rekindle my love towards friends, places and things that i love to have. for that reason, i'll write more often and create a special column in my blog to talk about my experiences in travelling around the world ( ok, that's an exaggeration).

i read lots of life quotations from different websites today and i love to do that. i found that those people who created the quotations are intelligent people who take their life experiences as a good lesson to be shared with others. i just love reading quotation and here are some of them. enjoy! :)

Too Bad..

it's too bad that i'm missing everything now. i'm missing Auckland damn much, i missing Brisbane, i'm missing those days in Kuching... all my escapism places. :(


i'm in the state where my emotion is weak. when i open my eyes in the morning, i see my window clearly but the image of small window that i had in Hudson Brown even clearer than that. as i wanna go to bathroom and i wake up from the bed, i can see my bathroom that i had in Hudson Brown instead of my room door. i miss taking hot shower. :'(


i miss walking down the stairs and open the door and call " Coca! come here honey!" , i miss seeing her walking slowly like she couldnt care less but she's actually really wanna follow me up to my room. then we'll have evening nap together. :'(


i miss walking back from uni and stop by the Asean supermarket that we had in front of our house to buy fruit and stuff to cook. i miss windy auckland so much n harbour n queen street. i miss listening to music when i enter the shops and stop by to buy ice cream from Giapo or fried chicken from Mid City Kebab. :(


i missing Sheryll, Christine. Jonnevie, Jack, Paris, Jason , Ann Dunphy.. i missing MATES, i'm missing esquire, everysing, countdown, harbour, pond in front of my house, im missing uni..




i wanna come back to Auckland..really much. :(


too bad that im missing everything now..

:: Safe & Sound ::

uncertain feeling indeed. am i feel like comforting others or being comforted by someone? dear you, i'll be by ur side. and we'll always be safe and sound...

Taylor Swift - Safe And Sound Lyrics (Ft. The Civil Wars)

[Taylor Swift]
I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...

Junior!

so yeah. here i am again. after all the ups and downs. i'm finally in a mood of writing again.too many things to talk about. i plan to do sumthing ' good' in my blog rather than just mumbling bout my own regularly-sad-personal-life. i hope i would be able to do that later and we'll see how it goes.

so, update for today. it's about Junior. Junior is a little orange color cat who'straying around this block. and no one wanted to take care of him so me n Fana, being a cat lover, gave him a little bit a lots of attention, including providing him with shelter, food and entertainment. entertainment sounds weird tho. hahahaha. i mean we befriend with him and yeah, spending some times to play with him and at times, be a sleeping mate too. ^^

it happened that Junior loves to 'poo-poo' in front of others' room. so people are easily get pissed off with him and they decided to sent him somewhere outside this college. i imagine how it's gonna be if Junior is sent to a wet market or a restaurant. will people there treat him kindly? after a thorough consideration over this matter ( which took me 3 days), i decided to do this for Junior. Tadaaa!

hope this little effort would give Junior a better life as he might be allowed to stay here forever. i'll take the responsibility and that's it. have a happy life yukkk Junior!

:: A Lost Heart ::

I asked myself, 

' do u really need 'someone' to go trough ur life now and then?'

 i'v been asking myself this question since years ago and lately i'v even asked myself more frequently. Finally, i guess i know the answer. i NEED my FAMILY, that is definite. i need my FRIENDS who i know for years specifically in RPS, MRSM Kuantan and Matriculation. and i, seriously need to go trough this life by my own, without worries and fears, with a confidence that i'll be able to do that and i NEED ALLAH to always be with me.

i know and i do think bout it. i'm a normal human being.i observe people around me and learn about life from them. i know there are things that people will aim to achieve and consider as an 'achievement' or be proud of being succeeded in pursuing it. example --> marriage. simple as that.

as i told, i'v been thinking bout that and having 'someone' is really a big question mark. No joke.  i'v no answer, no hunch to tell me a hint at least, no desire to, and i'm failed in anticipating my own life. so suddenly comes this saying, a person who fail to plan is actually plan to fail. sigh. I DONT WANNA CARE, that's what i feel now. 

i appreciate people around me.i appreciate whoever comes to be by my side, to be my friend, to spend their time with me, to make me happy and feel special..so much thanks! i'm seriously feeling so thankful to these people and always pray that ALLAH will ease  their way and help them to find whatever they seek in their life.i pray that i wont take them for granted and would be able to treat them in the best way that they deserve to get.

for all the questions that i had,

my heart told me,

" i would rather and more than happy to have friends, good friends, or best friends of different gender- instead of having them as a boyfriend. i'm happy to spend my time with them, have a good chat each time we meet or talk on phone, listen to probs (including his probs bout his girl) and lend a hand whenever needed. a good female friend will be better idea indeed, but at this age its hard to find one coz people are bz searching for their soul mate or catching up with old friends, and making new BFF somehow creates more probs as they suddenly will treat u like a rival a.k.a future enemy.  in fact, i already have a lotsss of besties now (girls) and i would love to keep them as that many , not to add more coz i dont wanna divide my attention into smaller pieces. i want to love them with all my heart and  to just let it stay that way. i have no worry if my heart will feel 'empty' coz the 'emptiness' is always there till i doubt if i can stand a new feeling which is to fall in love, expecting and hoping again but at the end the reality will kill me. so, i rather have best friends who will never betray me and i'l be happy to wish them a best of luck in their life. that way, i'll always be by their side and they wont lose me and i wont lose them too. it sounds crazy but no one knows, it is the best that i can do and offer, and i'm being fair to everyone coz to let the whole story revealed is not a good idea.it's a waste coz people wont be as that understanding unless they are also have been in the same shoes as u do. full stop."

... the small voice in my heart says , 

or maybe i dont have my heart anymore coz it has been taken away, far2 away and it has lost it senses....

:: GLAD ::

Alhamdulillah. thanks Allah. I'm Glad!

i'm glad coz today, M has finally sent us a good news. a very good news indeed. she's recovered. she sounded happy. she's back to herself that we used to know before. she is our M, a happy go lucky girl with a strong heart.

I feel happy for her and I thanks Allah for that. Allah listened to my prayers. Allah brings M back to us, tho we can't be together again this year but at least I know she'll be more that ok to go through her final year of degree next year. I hope she will stay strong as she always b.

this good news, has brushed away all the bruises and wounds that i have inside my heart after i was being accused by someone for making M suffers and leaving the college. since that day, i prayed hard to Allah to forgive my sins and to give M strength to live her life as normal as she can, as happy as it should be. I 'told' Allah how i never have any intentions to put down M nor to leave her alone and be someone selfish. Allah knows what really happened that day and why it happened that way. Allah knows best and this is Allah's answer to me. thank you O' Allah. 

'mum' was rite. i should have ignored that person and whatever she has said coz she isn't rite. she never knew the real situation and she just simply accused me with all those bad words coz she's looking for someone to put the blame on or maybe becoz she never liked me. i dont mind. she's not worth to be my friend if she only has bad thoughts about me while i never did such things to her let alone to spread bad words about her to people around. life can be so mean at times. :(

well, there's go a saying, there will be rainbow after rain..and now after all the storms and thunders, i see the rainbow again and M's smile is just like a sunshine that lighten up my days. thanks you ALLAH, 'mum' and M. Hugs! ;)

what's ur problem??

Others are really have nothing to do with my life. I accept wholeheartedly if they want to be around with sincere heart coz i also hope i can be sincere too. i appreciate people who come into my life and for all the good things i learn from them, i'll be thankful. Otherwise, i wont care much if I need to be all by myself coz its easier. i dont have to depends on others and i can be independent. most important thing is, i wont need to involve too many hearts in my daily life decisions and i wont interfere in others' affair which i supposed not to be involved in. that's it.

I have looked tru my life, all the ups and downs, all the mistakes that i hv unintentionally done, and think and hope that ALLAH only wanna show me that life teaches us to grow mature and be a better person. who wants to be selfish, no one wants. people are all imperfect so am i. coz im a typical n normal human being who falls and stands up again to wipe the bruises and learns  sumthing from that. no one wants to be born as a bad human being so if i ever did sumthing wrong to anyone, why do u only look at the negative side of it? i can accept advices but lets us see first who is talking there. if u r talking but not looking at mirror first, then how it would help? 

i'm learning. and i'm fine with myself now. i just dont want to be disturbed. i dont wanna involve in anyone's life coz im not interested in it, im not interested in listening to others' affair n need to be at one side only just to please them, and im not interested to be a liar coz i need to pretend like a good someone in front of others but talking bad about them behind their back. why are u feeling so unease if im happy living my life alone? why do u want me to be rounded by many people and get probs coz of that?what's ur prob??  

:: take me back ::

whoever you are, 

if you can take me back to Auckland,

 to live my life, 

as modest as I used to live before, 

I will marry you.

updating my mini dictionary. new word and idiom for today :

rekindle : 
1) Kindle anew, as of a fire
2) Arouse again  - "rekindle her love"

:: MiDNIGHT DiLEMMA::

thanks and 'thanksss' a lot to my brother for :

1) being such an awesome, and thoughtful, and kindhearted brother for treating me with chicken burger tho i didnt ask for it coz he worried that i might feel hungry at nite. yes, u r sooo nice!

2) *sigh*... being such a typical guy who doesn't understand that eating at MIDNIGHT (1215am) will ruin this awesome/cute girl's diet program especially when the subject that we r talking bout here is CHICKEN BURGER which is totally tempting and irresistible.

aaaaaaa. why do u put me in a dilemma? yes or no? eating or not eating?? sobbb~~~

:: Stalker ::

i just wonder if i have a regular stalker here, of maybe a FAN? i can sense a presence of  the same person on my blog everyday.

well, this is only my personal blog. nothing to be publicized about. i am aware that i have put the availability opens to everyone, and any people can just stop and stare in here,drop a comment  if they like to, i dont care. but, if u stop by everyday just to stalk on me, u waste ur time. really.

i dont care people reading, but please dont make a random judgement if u never know the real me in person. if u never talk to me face to face or atliz live with me for a certain period of time, u better think this is a blog of stranger that u'l never know. or  dont ever think, thru ur reading in here, u'll know me better or exactly who i am. these are too little to make u know me.

i just write whatever i feel like writing and it is my personal view and reflection of my life. u know, its a therapy to balance my emotion and its not to entertain anyone.

if i wrote sumthing educational and informative, im glad u read it for pleasure as well as to expand ur knowledge. im glad if im able to help and if it does benefit u. so keep on reading and do drop ur comments so i cant improve or share more. 

im welcoming everyone to drop in here, it just, i am a bit un-pleased to have a feeling that someone particular is watching over me n.if its YOU, please, go away.

:: coz i remember ::

i remembered what u said to her. and i'm not that pitiful. those insincere faces. huh. sorry. i know u too well and i dont even want to see ur face. no point to pretend like u r too kind. urghhh. go to hell!