knock.knock.

knock.. knock. Who's there?

Did u just knocked my heart and left it hanging

in the air?

*tsk. T.T *

: Let it Go :

So, finally i'm letting it go. The most valuable offer in my life. I'm offered the course that I have been wanting to do for so long and it is an UNCONDITIONAl offer.
so no IELTS, I just have to get my luggage, money and ticket ready before I can fly off.

Tsk.

That's not gonna happen anyway. I'm stuck here in Malaysia, thinking over the bond that I have with the government and also because of KPM cannot allow me to take a 1 year leave.

and... there are some other reasons too. there are people that I can't simply leave to pursue my dream.


a lot of thinking, and after some advices from elderly and also my several times solat istikharah... I think i should teach my heart to be patient and yea, accept the fact that i'm not leaving.

Allah must have a better plan for me ey? sabarlah hati. :')

Torn :'(

Tho rse torn sangat and super heartbroken, selalu pujuk hati insyaallah, Allah has a better plan for me. Memang setiap hari rasa tertanya2 why, why, why. Termenung tu mmg rutin dah. Nowadays tak taw ape masalahnye, bile solat je i'll tend to suddenly cry. Cry for no reason, sometimes xleh nak stop, it take me hours to be ok. bile doa, not know what to tell ALLAH about it tpi I always believe Allah understands tho I can't say any word to Him. kdg2 mse tgh drive pon after a long day at work, boleh suddenly cry. Setiap hri pon cmtu. Rasa cam hati ni kecik n lemah sbb too sensitive lately. I'm not the old me, xkuat dah. Tpi still good in faking a smile, buat muke xde pape. Alhamdulillah.


fikir2 xtaw ape masalah diri sndri wlopon rasa cm tau. probably sume da mixed up so end result nya adalah jiwa kacau. mujur da cuti sekolah atliz stress da kurang, and kalau cek heart beat n stress level myb just kt average je. selalunye sampai cecah the highest point,cam da nak mati je gayanya.

masih berdoa n berharap wlau tau impian akan terkubur. masih juga menangis setiap kali tertengok. Semoga saya bukan tergolong dalam org2 yg tak bersyukur dengan ketentuan Allah. Apa pun perasaan sy skrg, sy cuma kecewa kerana impian berterbangan. Semoga Allah mmg akan mmbuka rezeki sy lebih luas. walau apa pun lah dugaannye kehidupan ni,  saya akan belaja utk redha. tapi...saya paling takut kalau sy hilang nikmat kasih sayang dan redha Allah. Paling takut kalau iman hilang. Semoga apa pun yg jdi saya tak putus asa pada ALLAH. semoga ALLAH melindungi hati saya. :')

Angle Turns Ghost

Subject : Window Shopping
Title : Angle Turns Ghost
Reflection : I thought I have consoled one miserable heart but actually, I have also broken one.

Case 1 : At the head scarf shop

Sales lady : cantik la akak tengok adik pakai selendang ni. beli la dik.
me : ok kak. yg ni ye ( after trying quite a few i decided to buy. yelah, akak tu je called me 'adik'.lama tak dengar da. :p)
sales lady : sorang je ke? mane kawan?
me : hihi sorang je la kak. Baru habis keje je pon ni.
Sales lady : Hmm. xpernah lagi customer datang tukar baju yg da koyak rabak cmni ( tunjuk baju yg koyak cam kena gunting2 kt lengan.) Nanti mesti akak kena marah dgn bos. Susah la dik, akak da banyak kali kena dgn customer. ada tu sampai hina n ugut akak nk report polis la ape. padahal masa beli tu dia sendiri kata ok. sakit hati akak kadang2 tu. kerja cmni mmg selalu kena sabar. Bla3..
Me: ye ke. kesian akak. akak sabar la ye, cari rezeki memang banyak dugaan kan. Takpe la Allah tau memang bukan salah akak, harap2 nye nanti bos akak tak marah kat akak.
Sales lady : kalau dia nak marah pon, marah la, nk potong gaji akak ke.akak da cuba ikut arahan dia tapi customer pon nak marah2 akak.camne la akak sorang2 je nak menjawab. bla3... ( panjang la jugak)

she looked damn worried and sad so i decided to spend a few more minutes listening to her stories. She talked and talked and talked while I just listened. I knew I can't help much, but i knew listening to her can make her feel a bit better. I dont know her, she doesn't know me, but there must be reason why I was there and why she thought she can talk to me. Perhaps Allah wanted me to help her to reduce her worry? sometimes we dont need anything else, we just want people to treat us nicely with respect, kan? Tak kisah la walau keje kedai jual tudung je sekalipon. hm. Finally the kakak said good bye to me with a  smile on her face.

Case 2 : Walking out the store

So, after the counseling session, I decided to grab a lunch from the KFC at the G floor before heading home. Paid rm14 for a snack plate, I walked out the main entrance to get to my car. I noticed the guys from Perodua Show Car booth were staring at me since after I walked out from the KFC. I ignored them. When I was about to get into my car, a man approached me ( he was actually chasing behind me).
Me : Nak ape?
Him : errr. ni kad kawan saya ni. dia er cam nak ngorat la. nak berkenalan. Dia serious! ( mamat ni buat gaya hensem pulak siap tolak rambut ke blakang. )

I looked around and saw no one else .

Him : ni kad dia. amek la. nanti call la dia ek. Dari tadi dia tengok2 awak.



I looked at the card quickly and saw "perodua" and suddenly teringat dulu pon mase first time pick up si kuning dri perodua, the sales guy sempat kejar bagi name kad dia.agaknya mamat perodua ni ramai layan cite korea kot. apsal cam sama je cite ni? creepyyyyy!

Him: Cik, boleh tak nak kenal?
Me : er. eh.  SAYA ISTERI ORANG! ( i blurted out and shock at my own answer)

This man turned blue. speechless. freeze. And suddenly in just a second, he was out of my sight! lari punye laju cam nampak hantu. LOL. hahaha! and it was also a phewww!

** baru fefeling nak berwatakkan angle hari ni  rupanya terjadi hantu pulak di penghujung cerita. Sorry man, I just can't help it.

TEEHEE!

Alahai Anak-Anak

I've been wondering what has actually happened lately :

1) Every morning, mesti ada surat cinta ( MC) from pupil's parents or clinic for those who absent the day before. Or at least, mak ayah diorg call or mesej awal2 bgtaw xhadir hri ni ( dalam hati : amboi. bagus betul anak2 ni, ingat tanggungjawab nk prove MC, padahal ckgu pun xigt dia MC. dulu ckgu absent pon jrg de MC. hihi)

2) Nak keluar kelas after finished teaching, mesti ada 5 6 org dtg " teacher, nak tolongggg!'. kekadang tu, dengan muka xde perasaan, bagi la diorg segala buku,pencil case, marker, ABM teacher utk dibawa ke kelas lain or bilik guru. teacher jalan dulu bawak handbag je, toleh belakang tengok sume tengah berebut. siap gaduh. nk pegang atliz sorang 1 barang pon jadila. marker sebatang pon jadi laaa. " Ey. excuse me, not more than 2 people, please." kena sound. yg mane lambat x dpt rebut tu kena duduk balik dan merajuk. what? ( dalam hati : amboii baiknye berbudi bahasa anak2 ni. tpi pastu, ceh,ni kje nak mengelat la ni, pndai ye.)

3) Paling lucu and I can really read them easily. Pagi2 lagi or 10 minit sebelum kelas mula or sampai xrehat pon xpe, dah tunggu kat meja teacher. teacher yg tengah berborak kt meja ckgu lain ni lantakkan aje kat diorg, still diorg tnggu jgk. "yes?" bagi chance la.

Kalau yang muke keruh je tu  " er. Miss Naz, sebenarnye saya nak bagitaw yang keje miss naz bagi semalam tu, saya terlupe buat,sy tak datang, buku hilang, homework tetiba hilang, tertinggal kt kampung, tak taw di mane,saya tak tau pun ade homework...bla3.. my cat eats my homework..." and response teacher, pandang muke dia lama2 and say " Sorry, I don't understand Malay. I'll see you in class right, after this?". They know it ain't a good answer to hear. Mata berair.

kalau yg muke excited xpasal, "teacher2, saya dah siap dah homework semalam!"
" well that's good, i'll see u in class alrite?" eemm. tapi kan teacher, A tak siap lagi. tdi dia tiru B. pastu C and D pon x siap diorg tgh duduk kat kantin cepat2 siapkn keje miss naz takut kena marah' response teacher " U have finished ur own work, that's more important right? and now, I supposed you should be in your class?'  ( dalam hati :amboi, rajennye anak ni. tapi  ada je pulak nak dengki kat kwn kan. gaduh tak nak kawan la tu nak report2)

4) masuk je kelas, after greeting. Sume da letak homework ats meja. Tak payah cakap panjang lebar, just " have you finished your works and are you ready to submit your books?  there you can hear some 'YESSSS' and also u can see.. 2  3 4 org mula berdiri, tunduk pandang meja sampai almost tembus, and lepas tu terimalah nasib masing2.. but alhamdulillah da makin jarang ade yg berdiri.

5) balik dari kelas muzik, PJ, B.Arab or Sains.. lari2 kocoh2  masuk kelas and tengok teacher dah ada dlm kelas ( padahal teacher baru je smpai jgk, and tak kisah pon kt korang,siap tgh dok fkir bnde lain), tetiba bebudak ni senyap sepi and beratur panjang cam ulat bulu. muke masing2 serba salah and one by one ' im sorry miss naz, because im late" ( with broken english sbenarnye). siap bisik marah2 kt kawan yg tak beratur sekali. teacher confused tpi buat2 cool. response teacher ' it's ok, ok,ok, go back to ur seat" ( dalam  hati : alahai, comelnye la anak2 ni.hihihi, korang wat salah ape je? hahahaha)

Teacher : Class, do u think i'm too fierce? are you scared of me?
Class : emm. no. you are kind. but we dont wanna make you angry if we dont finish our homework.  errr.
Teacher : are you sure? Let's be honest. Come onnnnn!
Class : errr... tapi memang miss nazz da makin garang pun. heheheh *laughing happily sebab dapat menjawab tanpa dimarah*
Teacher : U know why I do so right? Its for your own..
class : our own good!
teacher: thumbs up!

( dalam hati : padan la korang makin semacam je baiknye and teacher pulak macam nampak makin cepat tua je. sobs)


TEHEE!

:: A Change ::

Okie, done!

Alhamdulillah. berjaya mengimport blog lama ke blog yg. baru ni. tak lama pun. sekejap je prosesnye. hihi. ada beberapa posts yang aku tak publish pon kat blog ni. takpelah. mungkin tidak perlu.

owh. by the way, azam untuk berubah dan lebih memperkasakan bahasa ibunda terkedok ditengah jalan. sebab nak tulis tajuk ape dalam Bahasa Melayu pon kne fikir sepuloh minit. hahaha. So, xpelah. len kali je la memperkasakan bahasa ibunda tu. hiks.

Hri ni seharian mengambil alih tugas mak menjadi surirumah separa masa. sebab lagi separa terbongkang kepenatan selepas aktiviti ini.

BEFORE

Tingggg!!

AFTER

Nasib baik response body language penilai rasa positif. dengan ini aku pasti jika ditakdirkan bersuami sikit masa lagi, suami ku tidak akan mati kebuluran. hahaha.

sekian saja. sekadar merasmi blog baru.

teehee!

Sabar. Sabar. Sabar.

so my salary issues hasn't been settled.a very long wait indeed.lots of important things can't be settled as well, hanging or might not be settled at all. but since it just not me alone facing this prob but another 3 part time lecturers as well, we just pray that we manage to stay patient and hope that everything will be easier n smoother next time. it just so sad to hear from a colleague that she's also penniless now and do not know how to survive coz she has to juggle with her job in Ipoh n Tluk Intan as well as with her PhD. while another said she felt sorry for us coz tho she hasn't got her pay, atliz she is married and has 'someone' to be relied on. i have learnt too many things throughout these 3 awful months.

1) even thought this is somehow too much to be bear with, i'm still grateful coz it somewhat makes me having more friends in the college as we, all the part-timers have started become close to each other and shared lots of things about teaching. ALHAMDULILLAH.

2) one of the friends told me she has one terrible class to manage where students r so rude and never care to respect her at all.while in my case, the three classes (150 students) that i'm taking care of are super duper awesome. they are nice students who listen to me, do and submit works on time, absent with proper MC and letter of apology for me, funny and friendly, and most interesting, when we had a crazy 8 hours class on Saturday where we had to take break for 3 times, they never tried to escape/go back to room but come back on time to continue the class with the same number of people . trust me, i never have raised my voice in front of them. ALHAMDULILLAH. :')

3) i might hate the fact that the company didn't pay me on time, but i can't hate this place as well coz i did find tranquility in my job. each time i came back from work, i felt content and happy coz my students were well-behaved. at times, when i recall the incidents that happened in the class, i could just laugh. we had good times in class.i never experienced any 'stress' that i used to feel in my practicum phase back then in JB. they made my days! ALHAMDULILLAH.

4) i think Allah has listened to my prayers. i prayed to HIM to please not to test me on something that's beyond my ability to endure. I prayed for HIM to ease us ( me and my students) in fulfilling our responsibilities and also in our journey of seeking and sharing the knowledge. and yes, ALHAMDULILLAH, i believed HE did that.

5) For whatever happens now (not being paid on time and uncertain news about posting), myb it's just a sign that Allah wants to test my patience coz the more He testing me, the more i become close to him. i can feel the love despite all the hardships and pains. so, SABAR. SABAR. SABAR. i have too much reasons to be grateful, thankful and smiled with, so i just hope this is how i can survive until i could see the rainbow again. Mira Mir Shaza Shazana the friends and sisters who always r listen and gimme strength, may Allah be close to ur side as well. I ♥ U! :)

# self-motivation #Teacher'sDiary #superbroke

:: KIND ::

i'm glad to say that i'm back to blogging. i just hope i'll be more consistent this time around as I use less English in my daily conversation. so yeah, i need to write. I had too much works to do recently. poor time management and lousy internet connection.*SIGH*

i'm glad as well, to say that life is being so kind to me now. tho  sometimes lotsa of problems arose, i managed to think more positively and took everything easy.Perhaps, i'm getting wiser n maturer now.  Ha Hah! :p

And.... alhamdulillah, i'm now working as a part-time lecturer in a medical school of one private colleges in Ipoh. I love my job!

 why do I love my job?

• i love the working environment. 

• i'm dealing with different age group of students who are easier to be taught and controlled. well, they are not the 'little kiddos' who i used to face everyday, but they are the 'sisters n brothers' who can easily understand my orders,  more responsible in doing their works and most important, keen is seeking  knowledge.

• I feel grateful because Allah has given me this opportunity to spread my wings in teaching career. 

When i heard that we'll not be sent to school immediately after graduated from college, i knew that  it was the right time for me to 'enjoy' my jobless life. i don't want to wait in despair so i really looked for a job. Not a common part-time jobs but a job that can help me lift up my confidence and self-potential. it sounded so ridiculous at first, coz i have put a high expectation in applying this part-time job. i didn't go for any working position in shopping complex or others, but i was really searching for a position like an English teacher/lecturer. i don't even have my degree cert or at least the official exam transcripts (until now), but i kept on sending resumes to lots of tuition centers, private schools and even colleges with a hope that i'll be hired. I was seriously relying on resume, cover letter and the interview session to convince the employer that i'm worth to be hired. ah, i'm just so thankful to my life in NZ which has taught me a lot in believing in myself and also the people that never stop helping and encouraging me - ANNE and SHERYLL. i'm even more thankful to ALLAH to grant me with this blissful days of life.

sometimes when i think back to myself, i just know that ALLAH did listen to my prayers. it's just a matter of time. whether it will be answered immediately or a bit later.

 i just hope that ALLAH will keep my ways easy and i wish that all the great people that i love and have now will stay close to me until the end of my breath. thank you ALLAH! :)

:: Sweethearts::

I'll be home soon!!

i miss you! i miss you! i miss you! 

can't wait!! 

:)

this was what had happened in my 5T3 class and this was only one of the examples that i have in 'my collection'. it happens on the daily basis, can u imagine? 


Teaching reflection- year5 english class.
Topic : Where do you live?
Theme: world of self, family n friends.
Issue: the most tiring n challenging lesson.

Me: okay boys, now i want u to draw you own family tree. (distributing handouts with a blank family tree diagram to the students). Alrite, u may start now.

*suddnly all the boys were looking for a place to hide.some sat at the corner of the cla

ssroom.some hid under the table*

Me : okay!okay! What's happening now? Why arent u sit properly?shaddiq! afif! isqandar! yasir!!
S1: teacherrr!! Alaaaa.kite tak nak la wat bnde ni teacher (covering his family tree diagram).
Me: why?
S1: alaaaa.nti diorg nmpak.nti diorg kutuk nama bapak n mak saya.
S2: aah teacher.nti diorg ktuk nama atuk sy.
Me: *dalam hati* lol!!! No.wonder sume mcm cacing kpanasan.cmne laaaa ak boleh lupe diorg neh suke brgaduh sbb main ejek nama bapak.hehe.tringat zaman skolah dlu.haish.
Me: ok2! Its alrite.you just draw it quickly n submit it to me ok.whoever tries to mock or tease their friends, i'll punish u.
S2: teacher2! Jgn tnjuk kat diorg taw kertas sy.
Me:ok2.i wont.dnt worry k.
S3: Misssss!! Missss! (shouting from the back)
Me: yes?
S3: xingat laaaa name atuk nenek kite sume.
S4: sy pon xigt.
Me: pulak.hmm.ok.u just put X if u really dnt knw their names.
Me:hhmm.eh, y aren't u doing ur work?
S5: teacher, sy xtw la teacher nak tulis ape.sume sy xknal.
Me: *dalam hati* (oh my! How cn i forget that he's from Rumah Barkat *orphanage*) Hmm.its ok, tulis nama pnjaga kt rumah brkat tu je.yg kt bwh ni tulis nama awak sorang je ok.
S5 :okay! (looked so happy) -weird.
S6: teacherrrrr! Camne nk tulis ni? Kalau sy ada dua mak?
Me: err.just write ur own mum's n siblings' names.yg lagi satu tu, no need.
S6:ok.
S7: teacher! Sy pon ada 2 mak dgn 2 ayah teacher.sy da tulis sume.hihihi. (happily showed his diagram)
Me: eh! U should only write the names of the people who u are living with now, my dear.
S7: alaaaa.xpela teacher.sy malas nk pdam.
Me:hmmm.
S8: teacher!
Me: iyeee.. ( xlarat nk layan)
S8: ada org menangis kt blakang.diorg ejek nama mak dia.
Me: haih!
S9: teacher.teacher nmpak gemok la *tibe2*
Me: -_____-'
S10: teacher sy xigt nama mak saya.
Me:oh my! Jgn mngadelah.that cant b true.
S10:ala teacher..nama mak sy xde 'ungku' macam nama mak diaaaa...
Me: aihhh.ok dahhh! Submit ur work now. (macam2lahhh!!pening!)
Students: teacher! Sorok2 teacher jgn bgi sape2 tgk.
Me: i know.i know. *sigh*.okay, i'v to go now.
Students: teacherrrrr! Ingt taw! Jnji jgn tnjuk kat org lain!
Me: yeahhh.okay! Promise! Thank u class!
Students: thank you miss nazzzzz!

*** penatnye la haiiii jdi cikgu! =____='

** UNFORGETTABLE! **

| need not |

it has been months! n i could not believe it that the 'months' that i should pass patiently is reaching its end. i was super duper bz with practicum that i had no time for myself. not even hv any time to make a quick visit to my own blog. i didnt remmber what was the last thing that iv written here.i hv devoted all my times for these few months to practicum and to my life as a new inexperienced English teacher in STAR 1. u see, i did not even have time to tell that im actually doing my practicum at STAR 1, a boys' school. terrific but awesome moments too.

so, my life has changed bit by bit.  I have lived and still living a new way of life where i take risk *lots of risks* in everything that im doing. i challenged myself by making a big decision to move on. like really2 move on n live with it. live my life with the feeling hidden inside but smile and act like nothing happens coz thats how it shud be in the future. Untill i get used to it n really have actually let go- then i know that im absolutely fine. ehem. *cough* i am fine now-seriously. but at times, i do remmber. n when we talk, n decide, n retell the stories, reminiscing the moments, i still cry.why? coz all those are too sweet to be forgotten. i cant forgive myself for being too weak n fragile,but i believe, time will heal us. and someone in the future will give us strength to accept that our life meant for something else. yes, a someone-  his  n mine.

those time ( few weeks or months ago), i did try to open my heart n let someone else to enter. but i just realised, i need not a special someone. never. i just need a good friend to be around coz i dont want to have any commitment. i dont wanna get involved with any heart n feeling stuff anymore (at this moment) but it just too hard to be avoided. even if i am ok, like seriously feeling-less n ok, the other party isn't. and it is - uncontrollable. so i end up breaking up so many hearts n i cry. coz i hate it when i hurt people who is being nice to me, and when i couldnt repay all the 'kindness' that they hv done. i bet i'll get a punishment. life has karma, so i'll be hurt too. that thought really freaks me out but i wish, instead of being punished, i'll find a right one who will love me endlessly regardless all my weaknesses. 

... and so, to conclude , im really happy with my life now. and i'm fine to live it just like this. but i hope n pray that i wont hurt anyone else more after this. i have had it enough. and to u, whoever has been there to spare me some great times but ended up being hurt badly, im really2 sorry. i wished to be a good friend, i wished to make everyone happy, but im just a normal human being, i cant satisfy everyone. im just a small girl with nothing but a heart - a heart that is still learning n struggling to 'breath' the way it used to be, to recover from a damage and to take its own time to be able to consider it never knows. I leave it to ALLAH to decide fo the best while i'll keep praying....

a moment that leads to a new beginning of life. may ALLAH ease.

:: Mandi Sungai di Gopeng, Perak ::

Hello! Hai!

 kawan-kawan saya selalu bertanya, apa yang best kt PERAK??? oh, x taw nak jawab sbb jarang betul duk Perak. haha. so ini adakah percubaan pertama membuat koleksi kawasan percutian di Perak.

Ceritanya, semalam kami adik beradik, pergi mandi manda di kawasan perkelahan di Gopeng. sume berlaku out of sudden, sebab hari panas sangat n sume org da bosan, so around 230pm, my eldest sis ckap 'jom pergi mandi sungai nak?'. wahhh. macam org mengantuk disorongkan bantal, mstilah nakkkkk! so dalam masa 15minit, sume brang2 keperluan dah siap di pack dan kami terus menuju ke Kampung Gunung Mesah Hulu, Gopeng untuk bermandi-manda! perjalanan mengambil masa 30 minit dari rumah.pandangan peribadi saya, ini adalah antara tempat mandi manda yg paling best yg saya pernah pergi. 

Lokasi : Kampung Gunung Mesah Hulu, Gopeng, Perak. 

- 1.5km dari Plaza Tol Gopeng. maksudnya, keluar je dari Plaza Tol Gopeng tu, belok ke kiri, keep left jugak dan masuk ke simpang yg ada sign board bertulis kg. Gunung Mesah Hulu dan juga ini.

teruskan perjalanan seperti biasa, straight je masuk ke kawasan kampung2 sampai la anda jumpe sebuah jambatan besi ini, 

dan.. tadaaaa! sudah sampai! kalau mahu msuk lebih jauh kedalam untuk mencari lokasi perkelahan dan bermandi manda yg lebih sesuai silakan la. tpi yg dekat ini pon x kurang bestnye!

tips memilih lokasi tempat mandi manda :

1- pilihlah kawasan yg bersih dan kelihatan sedap mata memandang, serta ada kawasan berteduh ( seperti pokok)

2-  dan sesuai untuk meletakkan barang2 terutama untuk mmbentang tikar dan meletakkan makanan kerana picnic-by-the-river akan selalu mmberikan perasaan yg awesome jika kawasan yg dipilih adalah bersesuaian. :p

3- perhatikan air yg sungai yang mengalir di kawasan yg anda pilih, lihat adakah airnya bersih dan jernih serta kurang berbau. secara peribadi, saya kurang suka memilih kawasan yg ada ramai org kerana keseronokan bermain air akan berkurang kalau org lain juga sibuk2 nak dtang ke tmpat kite untuk mencuba pelbagai aksi renangan. erkkk.

4- pemandangan yg indah di kawasan persekitaran adalah bonus untuk mmberikan anda lebih keceriaan. hehehe.

5- di kawasan perkelahan ini, ada homestay yg boleh disewa untuk pengunjung2 yg datang dari jauh dan ia betul2 berhadapan dgn lokasi mandi manda pilihan kami. jika anda mahu meluangkan lebih masa dikawasan sungai, ini adalah kawasan yg tepat untuk anda.

6- juga terdapat warung makan yang dibuka pada waktu petang. terdapat beberapa buah kedai makan dikawasan yg kami pilih, dan ini adalah yg pling hmpir tpi malangnye tempoh hari ia tutup. tapi x mengapalah, kami dah ada makanan sendiri! masak dari rumah gitu!

7-  pilih la juga kawasan yg dekat dengan toilet kerana itu akan memudahkn urusan menukar pakaian selepas selesai bermandi manda. toilet awam di kg. Gunung  Mesah ni  amat terjaga dan kebersihannye memuaskan. :)

 tips tambahan :

a) Jangan lupe membawa keperluan berkelah dan mandi manda yg lain seperti makanan, sunblock dan plastik sampah supaya sisa makanan tidak dibuang merata dan pakaian basah dapat dibungkus dengan baik.

b) expect what is unexpected, anda mungkin akan didatangi 'tetamu' ketika berkelah. kenal pasti siapa tetamu itu dan apa mahunya. situasi sebegini adalah kurang 'expected' tapi agak comel apabila ianya berlaku. :)

c) nampak kan tetamu itu?? jadi, jika ada sisa-sisa makanan yg boleh disedekahkn kepada tetamu comel itu, hulur2 kan la.

  ia pasti akan berterima kasih kepada anda atas kebaikan itu. amin. :)

d) dan sebagai seorang ilmuan yg tidak mmbuang masa, jangan lupe untuk membawa bahan bacaan kegemaran anda , mungkin boleh disertakan dengan alat permainan MP3,MP4, smartphones. saya membawa ipod touch kesayangan dan novel Jodi Picoult yg belum sempat dibaca supaya smbil menanti baju kering dan rasa sejuk menghilang, boleh la bersandar2 pada batu besar smbil membaca novel dan mendengar lagu. sungguh relax!!!

jadi, sekiranya anda ke Ipoh dan mmpunyai masa untuk diluangkn, silalah singgah disini. jika malas menyediakan makanan dari rumah, cukuplah mmbawa towel dan pakaian kering lain untuk diguna selepas mandi. soal lain, disini ada penyelesainya! selamat bercuti buat semua!

:: Rekindle the Love ::

so, here it is! after two days, i finally got this new look on my blog. I'm a happy woman on Earth rite now. :D

i just love the color and for the first time, i really feel that the header that i made by my own is really beautiful .haha.  i planned to have a white theme for my blog, but unfortunately, my soul and colors are inseparable, so at the end of the day.. all are pinky, as u can see!

i been thinking for two days, and i have decided. i wanna rekindle my love towards everything that i love to do in my life - writing, traveling, shopping, decorating, etc.  i love writing coz if i dont, i wont  have my own blog, rite? i just didnt write much  lately coz i lost interest in many things in my life ( which i couldn't explain why). and now im thinking of writing again, talking about my life experiences, write bout things that make me happy so that i can appreciate my life more, rekindle my love towards friends, places and things that i love to have. for that reason, i'll write more often and create a special column in my blog to talk about my experiences in travelling around the world ( ok, that's an exaggeration).

i read lots of life quotations from different websites today and i love to do that. i found that those people who created the quotations are intelligent people who take their life experiences as a good lesson to be shared with others. i just love reading quotation and here are some of them. enjoy! :)

Too Bad..

it's too bad that i'm missing everything now. i'm missing Auckland damn much, i missing Brisbane, i'm missing those days in Kuching... all my escapism places. :(


i'm in the state where my emotion is weak. when i open my eyes in the morning, i see my window clearly but the image of small window that i had in Hudson Brown even clearer than that. as i wanna go to bathroom and i wake up from the bed, i can see my bathroom that i had in Hudson Brown instead of my room door. i miss taking hot shower. :'(


i miss walking down the stairs and open the door and call " Coca! come here honey!" , i miss seeing her walking slowly like she couldnt care less but she's actually really wanna follow me up to my room. then we'll have evening nap together. :'(


i miss walking back from uni and stop by the Asean supermarket that we had in front of our house to buy fruit and stuff to cook. i miss windy auckland so much n harbour n queen street. i miss listening to music when i enter the shops and stop by to buy ice cream from Giapo or fried chicken from Mid City Kebab. :(


i missing Sheryll, Christine. Jonnevie, Jack, Paris, Jason , Ann Dunphy.. i missing MATES, i'm missing esquire, everysing, countdown, harbour, pond in front of my house, im missing uni..




i wanna come back to Auckland..really much. :(


too bad that im missing everything now..

:: Safe & Sound ::

uncertain feeling indeed. am i feel like comforting others or being comforted by someone? dear you, i'll be by ur side. and we'll always be safe and sound...

Taylor Swift - Safe And Sound Lyrics (Ft. The Civil Wars)

[Taylor Swift]
I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...

Junior!

so yeah. here i am again. after all the ups and downs. i'm finally in a mood of writing again.too many things to talk about. i plan to do sumthing ' good' in my blog rather than just mumbling bout my own regularly-sad-personal-life. i hope i would be able to do that later and we'll see how it goes.

so, update for today. it's about Junior. Junior is a little orange color cat who'straying around this block. and no one wanted to take care of him so me n Fana, being a cat lover, gave him a little bit a lots of attention, including providing him with shelter, food and entertainment. entertainment sounds weird tho. hahahaha. i mean we befriend with him and yeah, spending some times to play with him and at times, be a sleeping mate too. ^^

it happened that Junior loves to 'poo-poo' in front of others' room. so people are easily get pissed off with him and they decided to sent him somewhere outside this college. i imagine how it's gonna be if Junior is sent to a wet market or a restaurant. will people there treat him kindly? after a thorough consideration over this matter ( which took me 3 days), i decided to do this for Junior. Tadaaa!

hope this little effort would give Junior a better life as he might be allowed to stay here forever. i'll take the responsibility and that's it. have a happy life yukkk Junior!

:: A Lost Heart ::

I asked myself, 

' do u really need 'someone' to go trough ur life now and then?'

 i'v been asking myself this question since years ago and lately i'v even asked myself more frequently. Finally, i guess i know the answer. i NEED my FAMILY, that is definite. i need my FRIENDS who i know for years specifically in RPS, MRSM Kuantan and Matriculation. and i, seriously need to go trough this life by my own, without worries and fears, with a confidence that i'll be able to do that and i NEED ALLAH to always be with me.

i know and i do think bout it. i'm a normal human being.i observe people around me and learn about life from them. i know there are things that people will aim to achieve and consider as an 'achievement' or be proud of being succeeded in pursuing it. example --> marriage. simple as that.

as i told, i'v been thinking bout that and having 'someone' is really a big question mark. No joke.  i'v no answer, no hunch to tell me a hint at least, no desire to, and i'm failed in anticipating my own life. so suddenly comes this saying, a person who fail to plan is actually plan to fail. sigh. I DONT WANNA CARE, that's what i feel now. 

i appreciate people around me.i appreciate whoever comes to be by my side, to be my friend, to spend their time with me, to make me happy and feel special..so much thanks! i'm seriously feeling so thankful to these people and always pray that ALLAH will ease  their way and help them to find whatever they seek in their life.i pray that i wont take them for granted and would be able to treat them in the best way that they deserve to get.

for all the questions that i had,

my heart told me,

" i would rather and more than happy to have friends, good friends, or best friends of different gender- instead of having them as a boyfriend. i'm happy to spend my time with them, have a good chat each time we meet or talk on phone, listen to probs (including his probs bout his girl) and lend a hand whenever needed. a good female friend will be better idea indeed, but at this age its hard to find one coz people are bz searching for their soul mate or catching up with old friends, and making new BFF somehow creates more probs as they suddenly will treat u like a rival a.k.a future enemy.  in fact, i already have a lotsss of besties now (girls) and i would love to keep them as that many , not to add more coz i dont wanna divide my attention into smaller pieces. i want to love them with all my heart and  to just let it stay that way. i have no worry if my heart will feel 'empty' coz the 'emptiness' is always there till i doubt if i can stand a new feeling which is to fall in love, expecting and hoping again but at the end the reality will kill me. so, i rather have best friends who will never betray me and i'l be happy to wish them a best of luck in their life. that way, i'll always be by their side and they wont lose me and i wont lose them too. it sounds crazy but no one knows, it is the best that i can do and offer, and i'm being fair to everyone coz to let the whole story revealed is not a good idea.it's a waste coz people wont be as that understanding unless they are also have been in the same shoes as u do. full stop."

... the small voice in my heart says , 

or maybe i dont have my heart anymore coz it has been taken away, far2 away and it has lost it senses....

:: GLAD ::

Alhamdulillah. thanks Allah. I'm Glad!

i'm glad coz today, M has finally sent us a good news. a very good news indeed. she's recovered. she sounded happy. she's back to herself that we used to know before. she is our M, a happy go lucky girl with a strong heart.

I feel happy for her and I thanks Allah for that. Allah listened to my prayers. Allah brings M back to us, tho we can't be together again this year but at least I know she'll be more that ok to go through her final year of degree next year. I hope she will stay strong as she always b.

this good news, has brushed away all the bruises and wounds that i have inside my heart after i was being accused by someone for making M suffers and leaving the college. since that day, i prayed hard to Allah to forgive my sins and to give M strength to live her life as normal as she can, as happy as it should be. I 'told' Allah how i never have any intentions to put down M nor to leave her alone and be someone selfish. Allah knows what really happened that day and why it happened that way. Allah knows best and this is Allah's answer to me. thank you O' Allah. 

'mum' was rite. i should have ignored that person and whatever she has said coz she isn't rite. she never knew the real situation and she just simply accused me with all those bad words coz she's looking for someone to put the blame on or maybe becoz she never liked me. i dont mind. she's not worth to be my friend if she only has bad thoughts about me while i never did such things to her let alone to spread bad words about her to people around. life can be so mean at times. :(

well, there's go a saying, there will be rainbow after rain..and now after all the storms and thunders, i see the rainbow again and M's smile is just like a sunshine that lighten up my days. thanks you ALLAH, 'mum' and M. Hugs! ;)

what's ur problem??

Others are really have nothing to do with my life. I accept wholeheartedly if they want to be around with sincere heart coz i also hope i can be sincere too. i appreciate people who come into my life and for all the good things i learn from them, i'll be thankful. Otherwise, i wont care much if I need to be all by myself coz its easier. i dont have to depends on others and i can be independent. most important thing is, i wont need to involve too many hearts in my daily life decisions and i wont interfere in others' affair which i supposed not to be involved in. that's it.

I have looked tru my life, all the ups and downs, all the mistakes that i hv unintentionally done, and think and hope that ALLAH only wanna show me that life teaches us to grow mature and be a better person. who wants to be selfish, no one wants. people are all imperfect so am i. coz im a typical n normal human being who falls and stands up again to wipe the bruises and learns  sumthing from that. no one wants to be born as a bad human being so if i ever did sumthing wrong to anyone, why do u only look at the negative side of it? i can accept advices but lets us see first who is talking there. if u r talking but not looking at mirror first, then how it would help? 

i'm learning. and i'm fine with myself now. i just dont want to be disturbed. i dont wanna involve in anyone's life coz im not interested in it, im not interested in listening to others' affair n need to be at one side only just to please them, and im not interested to be a liar coz i need to pretend like a good someone in front of others but talking bad about them behind their back. why are u feeling so unease if im happy living my life alone? why do u want me to be rounded by many people and get probs coz of that?what's ur prob??  

:: take me back ::

whoever you are, 

if you can take me back to Auckland,

 to live my life, 

as modest as I used to live before, 

I will marry you.