|| 1st Day to School! ||

My first day of schooling started today, after 4 months holiday. im finally back to my real life as a student.and first day was awesome. first day of sem1 2011,first day of my 3rd year degree, i had to go to Epsom Campus of UoA to attend my first Science class. tho Epsom is quiet far from City Campus where my other classes were used to be held and will be held in, i have no regret bout it (except im worried if i wake up late and miss the bus). i really hope, not even a single complain will come out from my mouth sooner or later coz now i really find having science classes in Epsom is pretty cool. the lecturer, Mr Dennis Burchill is really knowledgeable, he makes me think a lot about Science and he introduced the very basic topic which was The Nature of Science in very interesting ways. Mr Burchill is old but he seems so kind and i bet he has lots and lots of experience in teaching Science. 

Science ( Edcurric 105) is my elective subject for this sem which actually is my minor for TESOL course. i took this course before, in my 1st year degree but it was all about science curriculum for Malaysia primary schools.now, our focus is on 'how to be good in teaching Science' tho it's not our major and it will be done based on New Zealand primary school curriculum. we'll do lotsa activities to complete this course in school ( note it, IN SCHOOL, so we dont really attend boring-normal-lecture session as usual) and will be seeing the kids more often to enable us to do experiments together with them. Frankly, i do find Edcurric 105 is really2 cool. but, on the other hand, im actually pretty nervous as im aware i'l be doing some science teaching throughout this course. lol!

i went to class wearing the purple shawl i got on my birthday. i met Myra after Professional Development class. she smiled as she saw me wearing the shawl. i went back home and saw the parcel that i'v been waiting for two weeks was already on the table, i guess Ton took that for me. and i got 3 gypsy shawls in it but there's no black inner as i hoped. i was disappointed coz i dont know how to match the red shawl correctly. i just have 2 greenish inners and one peach inner.however, new inner with hard curve on it makes i love gypsy shawl more. think i'l be wearing this shawl more often compared to tudung bawal.it's easier and light. i hope i'l be looking ok and good with 'em on me. 

this is me during my first trial in wearing gypsy shawl. this shawl was brought by my junior from Malaysia and the inner is made from cotton, slightly different from the one that my sis sent me. so what do you guys think? i am look ok??

self-captured. i couldnt find suitable clothes tho. :(

before went back home, after done reading test with Benjamin in Flatbush Primary school.

so , that all! =)

|| birthday girl rides on roller coaster||

i am 23. officially. wargghh. whatta number. im so grateful that ALLAH still grants me opportunity, to continue my journey on his beautifully created world. as i opened my eyes on Feb 26th morning, i realised how ALLAH is so generous for giving me more time to be around my family and friends, and pursue whatever i haven't achieved. thank you Ya ALLAH.. alhamdulillah..

i woke up in the morning with ungratified feeling. maybe coz i wasnt in a good mood due to the 'last night story'. i was sulking all nite and day long for not being able to spend longer time with Mr.carrot ( change his name to something that can indicate orange-ness. sound cuter eh? :p) i tot my day will be boring and sad..but it slowly changed to exciting one when few series of surprise happened. that made me felt like i was riding on the roller-coaster!!! :D

my roller -coaster tentative was :

Morning 

woke up with :( face , bought cheap choc cake for myself ( i feel stupid and pathetic. haha) and other stuff for cooking.

Afternoon 

-done shopping, tired, didnt cook, ate cake, replied birthday wishes on FB

-received surprised birthday call from Afiq. he sang me birthday song and called from German which actually made me felt so touched. thanks! :))

Evening

Mira came to house, gave me a birthday present. it was a very lovely purple scarf , i made her banana spring roll.

Night

-stayed boringly at home, facebooking. housemates went out few times. and finally shu brought and cooked me plenty of takoyaki. the feeling was like ' im in heaven' coz i never can resist tako. hehe.

-bloated! while i was about to finish the last 3 takos, nirro came at my doorway and asked me to come out.- birthday surprise : beday cake with a single candle on it followed by birthday song sang by Nirro,Liang and Kamala. i got a Carrot cake! yey!!

-went to Railway, to eat the cake and other food, but surprisingly few other friends were there, popped out from toilet (funny!) and sang birthday song again and i got another ice cream cake. hehe

- eating,eating,eating. received a birthday card from friends and a cute pink ball from Liang. chupss!

-came back home, shu gave me present. it was a sunnies. how sweet!haha

Late night

-YMing with carrot. fought over my sulking reasons. made him unable to watch football game on tv, n finally just realised i accused him for being an unromantic Bf for not calling me..tho the truth is he did call me few times, for 2days but my stupid Ym or intrnet connction didnt allow that to be happened. but when i checked through the call log, the calls were there. OMG! stopped fighting after almost an hour, let him watch football.. result of fighting : we r still in the relationship. i love him n feel guitly. opsss. heee.

so the conclusion is, my birthday was awesome and i shudnt be sulking. i love my friends, my family and my mr.carrot. hugssss!

updated 8/32011,taken from kamala's album, unedited - me during the surprise party. the day i became double sized. :p

|| 100th post ||

this is my 100th published post, so yeay! yeay for it is a February post. 

my 23rd birthday is coming. and February really makes me reminisce bout my past times. bout three years ago, about the most memorable birthday gift i ever had. 

i wonder what i'l get on my birthday this year. somebody is wishing for a future soul mate for his beday. should i wish for dat too? i almost give up and never wanna believe anymore dat a guy who is nearly perfect is exist. but these few days back, i have found one. not to say that im crush over him, NO,it just I finally know this kind of man is still exist. but rare. one in thousands i guess. lucky for the girl who will be his wife .

suddenly im back to my previous stage. when i dream bout someone 'perfect' for me to be lived with til i die. this dream is always stay fresh , makes me longing for someone. someone i dont know who. n nver know if he still alive, or if he is exist and meant for me. but the feeling of longing-ness is coming back to me now. i cant do anything but wait. wait till Allah allows me to meet him. and only if  Allah allows my life to be easier soon, i'l be the happiest person in the world. for now, i just can let Allah to decide. may something good comes to me this year, on my birthday. amin..

*Thanks ALLAH for blessing and protecting me. alhamdulillah...*

|| Reality ||

i guess i never wrote bout this before, but today i really feel like writing it. this will be my 99th published post after almost 3 years of blogging.

well, my life ain't go so well after my matriculation year. i went true lotsa hardships and dat has changed me entirely and made me became a different person. i couldnt really describe how different i have become but i know, somehow it is just normal to be changed coz everybody experiences changes in their lives.how they change, dat's another story.

when i'm approaching the age of 23, i see world in different view. what life offers me, what can i do, what i need to achieve...all are ways too different compared to few years back. and being a girl, this age really gives me a duty. tho i never care bout how much my age has become, i have people around me who keep on reminding me bout my duty. yes, it's always in indirect ways but i never hv failed to give good interpretations bout it. i know what it means so well.

it's a miracle that suddenly when i become a big girl, i become a best friend of my mum. so she is. she is my bestie. she always tells me, we have few things in common. but among of  those similarities, she doesnt want me to feel the pains that she had felt before. she wants the best for me but im always at fault coz i constantly chose the wrong ways.

as im getting older and hoping myself getting wiser, i can see what she said was rite. im making my way to walk on the safe path now. i need courage and it's difficult to do.i always need to remind myself to be patient and face the reality. i have too much worries and scared of unnecessary things, people said. but they never know all these worries are based. i cried over things that haunt me coz somehow i do feel scared of them. dad knows bout that, and i know i made him upset. i have no regret for who i am, but i know to make an amendment, it is too far from possible and out of my ability.

so i finally make up my decision, i wont think bout future things too much now. i rather live like this and let thing happens da way it wanna be happened. i will never make any plans, or dream of anything. coz the burden hits me even more vigorously now. i cant take it out of my mind nor to pretend it is not a part of my life. what i need to do is to face it, and yes, the truth is, IT IS DIFFICULT! may ALLAH bless me, guide me, and let me be close to HIM, forever... 

|| Spell ||

SPELL

A spotlight's shining brightly 
On my face 
And I can't see a thing 
And yet I feel you , looking my way 

An empty stage 
With nothing but this girl 
Who's singing this simple melody 
And wearing her heart on her sleeve 
And right now... 

I have you 
For a moment I can tell I've got you 
Cause your lips don't move 
And something is happening 
Cause your eyes tell me the truth 
I've put a spell over you. 

Beauty emanates from every word that you say 
And capture the deepest thoughts 
In the purest and simplest of ways 
But you see 
I'm not that graceful like you 
Nor am I as eloquent 
But just a simple melody 
Can change the way that you see me 
And right now.. 

I have you 
For a moment I can tell I've got you 
Cause your lips don't move 
And something is happening 
Cause your eyes tell me the truth 
I've put a spell over you.. 

All my life I stumble 
But up here I am just perfect 
Perfect as i'll ever be... 

|| too good to be true ||

i wanna stay,
not go away,
i wanna stay,
no matter if i'm alone along my way..


r u my past,
or r u my future?
u warmed my heart up
called back my smile
u r too good to be true
u r too good to be true


i saw u
did it a dream that i should forget?
i had u
shud i let u go or hold u back?


my heart serene
u made it
i flew high
but i denied it
u r too good to be true
u r too good to be true


so
i said 'Au revoir'
coz i dont wanna be hurt
when something knock me up


was it a dream?

| somewhere |

im dreaming of going and travelling around NZ with someone that i can trust, who is a good friend, who is a real companion. i never been here, but i really wanna go ,atleast to these places b4 i can dream of going to other countries.

• Milford sound
• Christchurch
• Cape Ringa
• Aussie

i won't be young forever. when i'm going back to Malaysia, i know i wont come back to this place , i'm not even able to go anywhere anymore. when i finish my contract with the government, i'm already 30. i wont be able to do this again. how sad i am... i'm useless. i have no money, so i shud stay  quietly here, serve me right!

:: Cherry::

today, i had this for my breakfast. ate it as much as i can before the season ends. i will be missing fresh cherries while i'm having my breakfasts in Malaysia soon. so sweet as a cherry, we might fall in love to something/someone as much as we hated it b4. i hated cherries for its extremely sweet and gooey taste back in Malaysia, coz i just knew it as a decoration for cakes and found it sold in small box in red n green color. now , when i meet with the fresh one, i wish i can plant it in front of my house.so i'l have lotsa cherries everyday. im loving it! :)))

|| our little kingdom ||

it's a memory that has been left behind yet always stay fresh in my mind. this decoration was made by me on jan 2009, for TESOL 1 , class 2 (minor Science). it consisted of organisation chart n duty roster.they saddest part was, we left the class after few months due to the change of class location . so ,the decoration abandoned. there. alone. i miss this wall so much as i devoted lots of my time doing it n put so much effort to express my imagination into real 2D. i thanks my friends who help me with cutting and pasting. the ladybugs, the bees and the flowers were us. i just realized now how cute we were back then in 2009. :)))

Chuppsss!

                                                                                                                                                       Love,

-Vanilla-

|| current obsession ||

Nirro's told me that i shud go for this course or something akin to this one special hobby that i have --> decoration and cooking. i love cooking coz i enjoy eating different dishes everyday..not only stick to traditional malay's eating behavior which is to have rice n lauk pauk everyday, day and night, and as their main meal.

rice is always my compulsory meal over a week but not as an everyday compulsory meal like other Malaysians do. i always love to have pasta, noodle, bread, sushi,pizza,burger,etc.. as my main meal in one day. different meal each day, it means. so after havent taken rice for 3 to 4 days (max), then i'l want to have rice. 

Decoration is a different story. i dont really have good talent, but i wish i will have and enjoy doing it so much. BUT, my ability is always limited. my preference also more to cute n fancy decoration which suit children type of decoration or girly. i made my classroom decoration for 2 years while i was in IPTI, i loved making cute cards with fancy decoration and gave them away to my friends, i always wanted to decorate n beautify  my rooms with so many fancy things but i cant til i really have my own personal room. i love do color matching too. i love drawing but i dont know how to draw like a professional so let's say i just know how to doodle. LOL!

when my obsession over cooking + decoration meet, so this is what happen. ha ha. 

was not  a great deco tho, so like a kindergartener's. but i still wanted to dedicate this to Xiao Xian for her 22nd birthday. i wish i can do more n better. 

|cry|

I need to cry. yes, im crying. 

~0ranGeVaNilla~

| meatball |

This is my plate and my portion

my fist attempt in making homemade meatball with chicken mushroom gravy + fries for dinner tonite. berangan nak wat ala2 meatball IKEA but finally it turned out become my own secret recipe as usual.  LOL. enough to serve 7 persons tho currently only 5 person stay in the house . think im getting crazier with cooking western dishes. might be gaining few kilos soon. LOL!

~0ranGeVaNilla~

|Cockles|

my new wish for today :

• to pick cockles from Shakespears Bay, someday in 2011

... coz today , i was frustrated that the strawberries have died, the apples were being sprayed and the cockles were unseen. duh! what a bad day! ...

~0ranGeVaNilla~

unstoppable.

it's whirling over and over again ,


                                                                    in my head.


                                                                                                                                      unstoppable.

*sigh*

~0ranGeVaNilla~

|| Different ||

Different

fairy tales are not mine to own,

happy ending love stories stay in the screen,

romance novels are only the solution,

to dream to have a perfect companion.

what does love mean?

how does love feel like?

ordinary dictionaries fail to define

and observations r dumbfounding

why am i so different?

last night, last two night, last year, or since ever

i heard a giggle right beside my pillow

i sensed a smile from blooming heart

that was because of love.

and right on my pillow,

i had a damp from drops,
i felt a sharp pain inside,

 was that also because of love?

why is it so different?

....is this  really love?

~0ranGeVaNilla~

I Wanna Be a Drama-queen

~0ranGeVaNilla~

::updated wishlist::

i have new wishes.

• to be able to wear hijab permanently and consistently.
• to be able to play guitar and piano
• to write my own song 

~0RanGeVaNilla~

:: my wishlist ::

i wanna have/do :

• DSLR
• New well functioning hand phone
• New sneakers, more heels n wedges
• Gypsy red shawl
• new spectacles
• green long cardigan
• original antivirus for my sick lappy
• vacation to South Island
• new bleach colored jeans
• my own car 
• lotsa money
• Chinchilla
• fluffy cats ( Birman / British long hair/ Norwegian Forest Cat/ Ragdoll/Savannah/Snowshoe/Turkish Van)
• new hair style (short hair)
• external hard disk
• few new sling bags
• few new clothes
• candle light dinner/ private oversea vacation with someone special
• evening dress
• studio photo shoot by professional photographer 
• learn to make Smokey eyes
• freedom, happiness, serenity & blessed by ALLAH always. amin.

~0RanGeVaNilla~

-me-

Things that i love :

• Novels - romance, mysterious, lotsa twists
• clothes - almost all types ( shoes, sandal, wedges, heels, shirt, skirt, hot pans, long sleeve shirt, jeans, tank top, sleeveless, cardigan, belt, scarf, baju kebaya, baju kurung..omg, pliz.i want all!all! )
• sunglasses
• shopping 
• food : takoyaki, fried chicken, bubble tea ( less sweet), laksa, tomyam, sate, double cheese burger, vegetables, carbonara..
• Cat!
• sling bag, handbag
• handphone
• Camera
• Salon
• Make up
• Contact lens
• picnic
• freedom
• cooking
• karaoke
• sightseeing
• cameron highlands
• Auckland
• cam-whoring
• barbeque
• music
• writing
• romantic comedy films
• cycling
• visiting pet shop
• decoration

:new:

thinking of creating new blog. shud i? or use this one and change the layout, color, theme, descriptions..etc.etc. need my own place. really. no stalkers r allowed. pliz.







~0RanGeVaNilla~